you can be a surrogate

Surrogacy pregnancies are different from biological pregnancies

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 0 Comment

The most popular question asked as a surrogate is, “How can you give up the baby.” People can’t help themselves. And they don’t understand – it’s different than a biological baby. Surrogacy is not mainstream yet. There is not a lot of information out there. Everyone has a different answer, but I’ll give you mine.

In short, it’s a well-thought-out (incredible) commitment. It’s also a medical process, not biologically linked to you, and you are selflessly helping create a family. And these are not the only differences.

Believe me; I could never give up any child of mine. And each of my two surrogate babies was entirely different than my two biological babies. When I found out I was pregnant with my bio babies, I was elated. For myself, my husband, and the family we were creating. We enjoyed letting everyone know, the gender reveal, the baby shower, etc. I had a great pregnancy, loved being pregnant, and couldn’t wait to hold my beautiful babies when they were born. When I did, I was instantly in love, connected and all of my mom instincts kicked into high gear.

Surrogacy was awesome too, but different. It didn’t start with an at-home pregnancy test or my husband and I crying with joy on the floor in our bathroom. It began with interviews, psychological and medical evaluations, background checks, the matching process, contracts, lawyers, a medical protocol, and many weekly blood tests. I was excited because I loved being pregnant, but more for the intended parents to hold a baby they worked so hard for. I felt love for the child I was carrying but also a great responsibility. I took care of myself – maybe even better than my other two biological pregnancies! Maybe not…but with a contract to consider, you definitely think twice at times.

When I had the surrogate babies, I did not feel my maternal instincts kick in. I felt proud and joyful in the journey I had. I loved seeing the intended parents with their child – and the smiles on their faces. It was priceless. I felt whole at the end of my journey and couldn’t wait to return to my own family, for I developed a new appreciation for them.

Surrogacy isn’t for everyone, but it may not be as emotionally complicated as you may think. Interested in learning more about surrogacy? Give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to find out more information!

 

surrogacy years later

Surrogacy Years Later

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Before, during, and after surrogacy is a commonly discussed topic. When you begin the surrogacy process and establish your support network, there are many questions from friends, loved ones, and even children to be asked and answered. Usually, questions are welcomed from your close circle because they are people who love and support your chosen journey. Some everyday surrogacy conversations consist of your multiple medical appointments, medications, evaluations, background checks, the “am I really doing this?” phase, meeting your intended parents for the first time, and more.

 

Your journey becomes an even hotter topic as your belly grows, and you have to decide what to tell a stranger in the grocery store that asks, “when are you due?”, “is it a boy or a girl?” or to say “congratulations!” These questions from strangers get brought back home or immediately discussed with someone who knows your situation. It’s fun, exciting, and even humorous at times. Then, there are the times when you are asked, “How can you give up the baby?” This question, although invasive, is the most common. You will eventually find a comfortable answer that you will be able to recite in your sleep.

 

The most rewarding aspect is the beautiful experience of labor and delivery when you see the most intimate moment of intended parents holding their child for the first time. Afterward, you get to recover from a long and gratifying journey and start getting into that pre-baby shape! And then you are done, with a sense of joy and meaning, fulfilled and knowing that you gave back in ways that many can or will not.

 

And we read about this all the time. Many blogs cover journeys. What to expect, what to prepare for, how to do it best, what to do after birth, and more. But, how about years later? On a personal note, I have had two journeys, and as of this year, the children are 5 and 3.

 

My first family lives out of the country. I still make calls around the holidays and for her birthday. I wish I could see her, but the distance is far too great to make an annual trip. Her parents are wonderful in sending me updates and pictures every now and then. My husband and I genuinely love them and forged a quick and strong connection throughout our journey. I cannot wait for the day that we meet again, as the last time I hugged her she was two weeks old!

 

I still talk about my first surrogacy with my family. My children will mention it sometimes, and I share pictures of the beautiful growing girl I once carried for 39 weeks. My friends and those who know about my surrogate past will also sometimes ask about her, and I am happy to indulge them, always showing the most recent picture I receive. But these conversations do not happen every day now; they are few and far between. Yet each conversation about her is very special to me and always leaves a smile on my face.

 

My second journey was entirely different as it was for a local couple. I also had an incredible journey, and the IPs were able to attend almost every appointment, and I even was invited to the baby shower. I carried another girl, and I get to see her a few times a year – and love every minute of it! She calls me “Auntie” and is growing like a weed. We have fun playdates and lunch dates – her smile warms my heart. I share my experience with my close circle of friends and family when asked, “what did you do today?” But this does not happen every day. Only a few times a year.

 

I leave every conversation or meeting with my surrogate families with that warm and fuzzy feeling. I feel like it was a lifetime ago that I carried these two beautiful babies. I am very proud of what I did and know that I helped build a family, actually, two incredible families. I know surrogacy is not for everyone, but it was for me.

 

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate with Shared Conception, call our Houston 713-622-1144 or Dallas 214-390-4024 office for more information. Visit www.deliveradream.com to begin your application and prequalify.

telling your child about their origin

Telling your child their origin

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 0 Comment

The conversation with your child about being born via surrogacy can be a difficult one. It is a story about how hard you worked to have them, and it is part of their identity. Talking about it early on is a way to normalize their birth through surrogacy – and help them be proud of their origin.

 

Younger children are more open-minded and understanding. The older they get, the more questions they can have, and if the conversation begins early on, it can be easier and more comfortable to discuss when brought up throughout their lives.

 

Experts agree it is essential to be honest with your children from the start:
“The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) Ethics Committee suggests that parents disclose their children’s conception story, and research has suggested that secrecy about a child’s origins may have a negative impact both on the child and his or her parents.”

 

Don’t forget about the number of friends and family members that know your child’s story. It can be damaging if your child hears the truth from someone else. After all, there is no reason to be ashamed of their story, and you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it either. You can always ask for the help of friends, family, and professionals. Refer to our blog Four Books for Children of Surrogates. These books help children to understand by delivering age-appropriate messages about surrogacy.

 

Many of our intended parents still have relationships with their surrogates, and those surrogates remain an important part of their lives. Having this relationship can make it easier and also normalize the conversation.

 

Always remember, your child’s surrogacy story is a positive one. It involves people coming together to create a life. Be proud of the way you built your family. Surrogacy is a magnificent and joyous phenomenon. If you are interested in having a surrogate, let Shared Conceptions make your dreams of a family a reality. Give us a call today, and we will help you get one step closer to the child you have always wanted. Visit https://sharedconception.com for more information.

Your surrogacy support network

Surrogacy, Support Networks and Beyond

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Surrogacy is such a process for intended parents. Most people who come to the decision they need to choose surrogacy to build their family, are already emotionally exhausted from the trials and tribulations of infertility.

Shared Conception always emphasizes the importance of a support network, on either side of the surrogacy fence; for surrogates or intended parents. Honesty and open communication are essential within this network. Initially, when building your network, expect many questions that may seem invasive but can become an opportunity to educate someone about surrogacy. Intended parents are encouraged to establish support systems for emotional support and whatever other help they may need.

Feeding your network

As mentioned above, expect many questions. Only recently has surrogacy become more mainstream and accepted. Laws on surrogacy constantly change for the better. Take this as an opportunity to inform someone on a rarely discussed topic.

Support systems can grow stronger by introducing your surrogate, if possible, to those who support you the most! It helps with empathy and clarifies what you are going through as an intended parent. Introductions can be as informal as coffee or lunch or as elaborate as a dinner party or an invitation to your baby shower. And if you are not comfortable with either of these notions, that’s okay too.

Part of the network

If you are inside one of these support networks, you may wonder how to support your friend, loved one, or relative. Think about how you would want to feel supported if you were in a similar position. Most likely, you have been with them through their fertility struggles. Being part of this network is an honor. Respect their privacy and always give continued love and support, which will mean the most to them.

If you are lucky enough to meet their surrogate, treat her as a friend. She is, after all, like Wonder Woman, making the hopes and dreams of your friends a reality.

If you are interested in having a surrogate, let Shared Conceptions make your dreams of a family a reality. Give us a call today, and we will help you get one step closer to the child you have always wanted. Visit https://sharedconception.com for more information.

Long distance surrogacy relationships

Long Distance Surrogates

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Looking back on my two wonderful journeys with Shared Conception, I have had two completely different experiences. Each amazing and unique, I could talk for days about my wonderful relationships with each of the intended parents. For this blog, I want to talk about how the intended parents and I were able to forge an amazing relationship even though we were so far apart.

Before I was matched, Shiva at Shared Conception asked me how I felt about working with international intended parents. She told me about other clients, other journeys, and experiences with international clients. I weighed the pros and cons of working with international vs. domestic or even local intended parents, talked about it with my husband who ultimately told me the decision was up to me. What really got me was their story. And although it is their story to tell, I was touched, intrigued, and compelled to help them. I felt an instant connection the first time I met them, and lucky for me, it will be a relationship that lasts a lifetime.

When we were first matched, we immediately set our expectations for communication. I asked them how involved they wanted to be. Truthfully, I wanted them to know what was going on every step of the way, and thankfully, they wanted to know too! I thought it was important to not only agree on our methods and frequency of communication but also live up to it.

They were so appreciative for every photo, email, text or Skype. Every response warmed my heart and validated my decision to work with these wonderful parents. I was truly dedicated to making them feel part of the process even with such a great distance between us.

And of course, this journey and experience led me to a second journey with another amazing couple, this time local and equally great. The bottom line is that every journey is different. Each experience that I had, helped me grow as an individual, woman, mom, and even wife. I am so thankful to have been able to be a surrogate and include this job on my resume of life.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, I highly recommend Shared Conception. Their staff is experienced, knowledgeable, kind and passionate about surrogacy. Give them a call today. Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to begin an application to become a gestational surrogate and find out more information!

Written by Courtney Clinton

Media and surrogacy

Media and Surrogacy

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 0 Comment

There is so much more acceptance these days about having children through surrogacy than previously. Attitudes towards the surrogacy process have changed throughout the years. More than ever, we hear of surrogacy in the news, on the covers of magazines, and in interviews with celebrities. These instances have helped make surrogacy a more acceptable way of having children. However, there are times when the media portrays surrogacy in a negative light, or just downright incorrectly!

The media has greatly influenced surrogacy; in good and bad ways. When it comes to surrogacy in the news, oftentimes, it is a horrible story shedding a negative light on all involved. It does not mention the thousands of families that have been created through surrogacy, or the happiness in successful surrogacy journeys. Many times, the media focuses on the dangers of surrogacy, which are not only misrepresenting surrogacy but also quite offensive!

  1. Not seeing the beauty in surrogacy

Becoming a gestational carrier is beautiful and selfless. These sentiments are rarely conveyed to the public. Shared Conception has worked with hundreds of selfless women who have given years of their time to help create or extend a family for others. It’s not all about the money. Ask anyone of our surrogates. Many have different but equally beautiful reasons of why they became a surrogate. All will agree that their time as a surrogate was one of the most rewarding experiences in their lives.

  1. Don’t forget about the happy families created through surrogacy

The media focuses on the most outrageous surrogacy stories. Many times, you hear of a crazy surrogacy story that is dramatized in a made-for-TV movie, article, or news segment. There are many more happy stories than unhappy ones.

  1. Heartbreak is often sensationalized

The negativity that is reported is rarely followed up with a successful story. This is a missed opportunity to inform and educate others on the process. Education and research are critical elements in a successful journey. If any agreement; whether for surrogacy or another business contract is written poorly, with little education or research, then such an agreement is prone to cause issues.

  1. Name-calling

Negative terminology such as “breeders” or “womb for rent” has been associated with the surrogacy process. These words cannot be farther from the truth and can be very offensive. All surrogates offer their assistance, and agencies such as Shared Conception, make sure that all our surrogates are educated and informed before the process even begins!

Becoming a surrogate is selfless, beautiful, and rewarding. These words are among many words our surrogates have used to describe their experience with Shared Conception. Begin your surrogacy journey with us. Call us at either our Houston 713-622-1144 or Dallas 214-390-4024 office for more information. Or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an information request form!

 

 

 

 

medications for a surrogate

Patches, Pills, and Prickly Things

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As a surrogate, you are required to follow strict instructions from the fertility clinic. They can be instructions about diet, activity levels, or medications. And yes, some of the instructions involve needles that you or someone in your support network will have to administer daily.  It’s really not that bad, and as a surrogate, this is a part of your job. Following the clinic’s instructions and medication regimen can affect the outcome of your transfer.

As the transfer date approaches, medications come into play. You may feel a little overwhelmed! You will receive an array of pill bottles, patches, needles, and swabs. This is the first day of about 10-12 weeks of daily doses of medications.

You will get used to it, and it will become an essential part of your daily routine, but it is a lot to keep track of.

It’s useful to keep a calendar or use the one on your phone to ensure you don’t miss a dose. This is also where alarms on your phone, Alexa, or Portal can come in handy.

Some medications may need to be refrigerated. Still, try to keep them together. This will help prevent any missed dose. There are a few medication organizers out there. Try to find one resembling this https://myvitro.com/products/ivf-organizer – less expensive versions can be found on Amazon. A regular, plain old cardboard box is nothing to be ashamed of either.

The pandemic has not done any industry much good. There have been reports of a low medication inventory. So, if you begin to run low, make sure you call your pharmacy to request a refill.  And, put that phone number in your contacts!

Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support you throughout your pregnancy journey as you help make a family! Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

 

pregnancy and Covid

Surrogacy during the Pandemic?

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During this lingering pandemic, we have been asked by many of our surrogates and potential surrogates about how COVID-19 may impact their surrogacy journey.  Although COVID-19 has changed our lives in many ways, it is still possible to have a successful journey with some extra precautions to help keep everyone safe.

The recommendations associated with COVID-19 seem to be everchanging, but there is some important information about Shared Conception for you to know when considering surrogacy:

  • Shared Conception is continuing to prescreen and match surrogates with intended parents.
  • We are constantly in search of surrogates. We have many intended parents waiting for a match and are very eager to find one.
  • Final medical screening and embryo transfer procedures have continued since June after many clinics were closed March-May. Professional guidelines have allowed fertility clinics to reopen in June as long as the clinic follows recommended precautions to minimize the spread of COVID-19.
  • Some of our surrogates have traveled for their fertility treatment. Read our information regarding air travel during COVID-19 here.
  • Currently, there is no evidence of transmission of the virus via eggs, sperm, or embryos.
  • The information on pregnancy is limited, but it appears that pregnant women are no more likely than anyone else to have severe symptoms from the coronavirus. Of course, this info can change with new data.
  • Hospital visitor policies have changed. When it comes to labor and delivery, each hospital makes its own policies. In some cases, the intended parents are also sometimes allowed in the delivery room or will be in a nearby room to receive the baby when he/she is born. Check with your hospital to confirm their policies.

Shared Conception will closely monitor the news on COVID-19 and provide you with updates to better guide and support you in your surrogacy or parental journey. Interested in learning more about surrogacy?  Visit www.deliveradream.com to find out more information about becoming a surrogate!

If you are interested in having a surrogate, let Shared Conceptions make your dreams of a family a reality. Give us a call today and we will help you get one step closer to the child you have always wanted. Visit https://sharedconception.com for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

Intended Parent Support Groups

Intended Parents Supports Groups

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Sometimes being on the intended parent side of the surrogacy journey, gets little recognition when it comes to feelings and emotions. After all, it’s all about the wonderful woman who is carrying your child. There are times when you’re waiting to be matched with the perfect surrogate or dealing with the stress of the screening processes and legal contracts, or you’re anxiously waiting for the next pregnancy update from your surrogate — it is not unusual to feel like no one else understands what it’s really like to be an intended parent.

Even if you are surrounded by very supportive friends and family members, they probably don’t have much experience with surrogacy. It is natural to sometimes want to talk to people who have been or are currently in the same position as you. Support from others in your situation is valuable — but finding that support may be challenging.

Rest assured that by the power of the internet, you can connect with others in your position online. And, while the internet is a great way to find connection, be careful when joining an online support group. Just remember, you can’t always believe everything you see online.

When in doubt, you can always contact Shared Conception.  We can recommend resources for intended parents and answer questions about what you read online. We are always available to provide the support you need.

In the meantime, here are some online intended parent support groups:

Meetup.com

Intended parents may be able to find in-person support through Meetups groups. In addition to intended-parent-specific Meetups, you may find a sense of community through infertility centered meetups.

RESOLVE

This is the National Infertility Association and offers a directory of local, peer-led support groups for parents who have struggled with infertility. While many of these groups are not specific to surrogacy, intended parents may still find them helpful.

BabyCenter Community

There are several surrogacy-related groups within the BabyCenter Community, including groups specifically for intended parents seeking advice and support from other intended parents.

Even though Fertility struggles are common, they are often not spoken about openly. If you are interested in surrogacy, call Shared Conception today. Our compassionate surrogacy specialists will help make your dreams of having a family a reality. Give us a call today and we will help you get one step closer to the child you’ve always wanted. You can also visit https://sharedconception.com for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

intended parents new year resolution suggestions

Resolutions for 2021 Intended Parents

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As the beginning of a much-anticipated new year rolls around, people will be making their New Year’s resolutions. After all, 2020 wasn’t great for many, and 2021 is a new year and full of new opportunities.

If you are considering surrogacy to help build, extend or create your family, take this new year as an opportunity to focus on the positive parts of a journey that await you. During this time, it may be a good idea to contact Shared Conception to speak with us about how we can help.

Here are some suggestions to start:

  1. Learn more about the surrogacy process

Even if you have already begun researching your surrogacy journey, it’s never too late to learn more about this process. Education is the key to a successful family-building process and if you feel stuck in your own journey, it may help you understand where to go from here.

  1. Revisit your personal surrogacy goals.

Couples or individuals who have been struggling with infertility, may consider reevaluating their own family goals and preferences. While you should always be comfortable with your process, revisiting your plan may bring up new preferences as you learn more about surrogacy. Shared Conception will always help you, if you want to make a change or revise something.

  1. Understand and manage your finances.

Every intended parent knows that fertility treatments are expensive. If you are considering starting a journey in 2021, concentrate on budgeting and saving. This is also a good life habit for everyone to have. Looking into financing for surrogacy? Shared Conception can send you information on how to obtain financing.

  1. Find an additional support system.

Shared Conception can lead you to the many intended parent support groups where you can talk with people who have been in the same situation and develop valuable friendships that will help you through this journey. Also, it is important to share your decisions with those closest to you. A support system of close friends and family is extremely important for you during a journey.

A new year represents a new beginning and Shared Conception wants you to reach your parenthood dreams this year. Give us a call today and we will help you get one step closer to the child you’ve always wanted. You can also visit https://sharedconception.com for more information.