intimacy when pregnant

Sex during Surrogacy

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One of the questions we are asked from our potential surrogate mothers is if they can have sex while she is pregnant. The short answer is yes. But, there are a few conditions. Initially, it is not recommended to have intercourse before and after the embryo transfer. If you are a surrogate with a spouse or partner, you (the surrogate) and her partner are tested for sexually transmitted diseases. And, as long as these tests are negative, sex is allowed in monogamous relationships, married or not.

All the single ladies

Unless it is in your contract, there is no set of defined rules for having sex for our single surrogates. However, it is essential to be monogamous. Your partner should be free from infectious disease as there is a chance that an infection can be transferred to the baby through the mother.

If there are complications

If there are any complications throughout the pregnancy, your doctor may prohibit sexual intercourse for as long as the complication continues and give you the green light when it is safe for surrogate and for baby. Keep in mind, every journey is different and doctors have different views about the limits of sexual activity. So check with your doctor about this topic – and don’t be afraid to ask!

Benefits to sex

There are benefits to having sex while pregnant.

  • You burn calories. Sex is like exercise. The stronger you are, the easier labor can be.
  • Lower blood pressure. Sex can lower your blood pressure and, in turn, decrease the risk of preeclampsia.
  • Better sleep. You can improve your nights’ rest by being sexually active.

Bottom line, in most cases, after a successful IVF transfer, the surrogate can return to regular, monogamous sexual activity. These practices are standard in all surrogate cases. But always check with your doctor about the best course of action. If you have any questions or are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call! You can contact us at either our Houston 713-622-1144 or Dallas 214-390-4024 office for more information. Or, visit www.deliveradream.com to get started on an application to become a surrogate.

 

Surrogate Spouse's POV

A Spouse’s POV on Surrogacy

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I am a proud two-time surrogate. I have no problem telling people about it whether they agree with my decision or not, and I do not have a problem answering (sometimes invasive) questions. I take it as an opportunity to debunk myths and educate people about a topic not talked about that often.

Then there’s my husband, who’s supported my decision to become a surrogate and was supportive throughout the journey from IVF to delivery and every needle in between. But there are so many questions my husband faced while I was pregnant (with another man’s baby – and another woman’s baby) that I think are important for other men with wives and partners considering surrogacy should know. After all, it is the “other side” of surrogacy that is even less discussed.

So, I interviewed my husband with the top 5 questions he experienced when I was a surrogate:

  1. How do you get past the fact that your wife is carrying another man’s baby? When my wife explained the whole process to me, it was purely medical – and I thought it was a very selfless thing to do. She always enjoyed pregnancy, so why not do it for a family in need? Not many people asked me if my wife slept with another man – I think they would know me better than to agree to something like that! Although, I did enjoy joking around with close friends and family, saying that my wife was pregnant with another man’s baby! That was one of my favorite things to do when she was on her journey.

 

  1. Did your wife decide without your consent? Absolutely not! She brought it up to me over dinner one day, and I thought it was a far-fetched idea, and I didn’t even know that surrogacy was a real thing. Then she explained the process to me, told me why she wanted to do it – and through researching the topic more together, we decided it was a great thing to do.

 

  1. Were you worried you would grow attached to the baby? No, we already knew that we were finished having kids and were very happy with our two boys. The thought of another infant terrified me. But I was happy to have my wife be someone else’s oven for their bun. Knowing the baby was not biologically tied to either of us made it less complicated regarding emotions.

 

  1. Do you still find your wife attractive (aka how is your sex life)? That’s a great question. And yes! There was not one part of me that ever considered this too weird to be intimate.

 

  1. How was your relationship with the intended parents?  I enjoy the intended parents from each journey so much, and it is amazing what can bring two couples together. We still maintain special relationships with both of the intended parents from each journey – and they will be lifelong friendships.

 

Are you interested in learning more about surrogacy or have questions about talking about it with your partner? Give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you can contribute to the world in a unique and precious way. Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to find out more information!

 

 

 

The holiday rush and pregnancy

The Holiday Rush

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Now that Halloween is behind us and the sugar rush has dissipated, Thanksgiving is next in line. Let’s look forward to yummy comfort food and more family time. Go ahead, take an extra scoop of mashed potatoes because – you deserve it! And most importantly –indulge (not overindulge) on desserts! Pregnancy intensifies many of your senses, including taste. So, all those delectable desserts can taste like the best thing you’ve ever had. It’s a great time to use those 300 extra calories your body needs every day.

Don’t get overwhelmed this holiday season! Savor the moments and enjoy them. It’s not unusual to feel like you can’t keep up between all the riff-raff and running around. Shared Conception understands this can add pressure to an already overworked pregnant body. We have a few tricks up our sleeve to survive and enjoy this time of year.

Being cozy and comfortable is essential while pregnant, and the holidays are no exception. So, if you can’t find the perfect holiday outfit – it’s okay. Take the pressure off yourself and know that everyone will think you and your bump are adorable no matter what you wear, even in your tunic and leggings. If you would like some advice on holiday style, check out our blog on Pregnancy Holiday Attire!

Are you traveling this season? Refer to our blog about Traveling When Pregnant. Always let your doctor know about your travel plans to get the green light. And remember, refer to your contract to avoid any uncomfortable situations regarding travel when you are a surrogate. All contracts are different, and Shared Conception advises you to look at it before making travel arrangements.

Pregnancy is an emotional time. The Holidays are a joyous time of year and, after all, the season of good cheer. This holiday brings on a cloud of happiness you can revel in. If you find yourself more emotional, relax; you have a pass since you are pregnant. So turn up the Holiday music and cozy up with a book, blanket, and decaf mocha to make yourself feel better. Also, read our blog about why the holiday season rocks when you’re pregnant if you need any reminders!

Shared Conception is always here to talk to our surrogates. If you are interested in pursuing a journey and giving the gift of family, call us today!

 

 

pregnancy discomforts

Dealing with body changes/pain during pregnancy

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As we all know from our bio babes, pregnancy causes so many changes to the body. It can be uncomfortable at times and even downright challenging. Not to mention after giving birth! Although body changes during and after pregnancy are natural, some struggle with keeping a positive body image during and after pregnancy.

 

After all, taking on the task of becoming a surrogate is not an easy one. Body changes come with the territory but can still be uncomfortable. As you go through your journey, keep some of these things in mind:

 

Pregnancy doesn’t last forever – enjoy the moment! Even if your body is changing, as it should, focus on the good you are accomplishing, the love and nourishment the baby needs, and the love you need to stay a happy and healthy pregnant surrogate.

Express yourself – talk to your support network! Keeping your feelings and concerns to yourself will do you no good. Or, give Shared Conception a call. We are happy to help!

You are not alone.

Be active – this doesn’t mean exhausting yourself with demanding physical workouts and activity! A walk or swim can help clear your mind and make you feel good!

Treat yourself – get your hair done, nails, pedicure, massage (as long as your doctor approves). Do something for yourself! You may find that self-care can raise your confidence and improve your mood.

 

Post Delivery

After the baby is born, you must give your body time to adjust. It is essential to provide it with the time it needs to balance itself out. Don’t rush. Some of our surrogates have had success in pumping for their surro-babe or through donating their milk. Pumping releases oxytocin which helps the uterus return to its pre-pregnancy size. You are also more likely to lose the weight gained during pregnancy. That’s a win-win!

 

We all deal with different changes as all our bodies are not the same. Some women encounter stretch marks, acne, fatigue, etc. These changes can be hard to manage while pregnant and as our hormones balance – even after delivery. But always remember, the most important takeaway from this journey is to know you are delivering a miracle, and it is important to remain confident and comfortable with your body.

 

Why not take the next step and open a dialogue with Shared Conception? Give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way.  Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to begin an application to become a gestational surrogate and find out more information!

flu shot when pregnant

Flu Shot when Pregnant

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So many opinions on vaccinations lately. What’s a surrogate to do? As Shared Conception always recommends, talk to your doctor before going to a clinic or getting a flu shot outside your doctor’s office. As a surrogate, refer to your contract to see what it states about flu vaccinations.

The flu can cause severe illness in pregnant women—your body changes when you are pregnant, including your immune system. Flu can also be harmful to a developing baby, and even something as simple as a fever can have adverse outcomes for a baby in utero.

What not to do

Pregnant women should get a flu shot, NOT the live attenuated vaccine (LAIV or nasal spray). When you get vaccinated, request the flu shot — not the nasal spray vaccine. The flu shot is made from an inactivated virus, so it’s safe for both mother and baby during any stage of pregnancy.

According to the CDC: 

“There is no recommendation that pregnant people or people with pre-existing medical conditions need to get special permission or written consent from their doctor or health care professional for influenza (flu) vaccination if they get vaccinated at a worksite clinic, pharmacy, or other location outside of their physician’s office. Pregnant people should not get nasal spray vaccine.”

But did you know? 

Generally, September and October are the recommended time to be vaccinated. But, early vaccinations can be considered for women in their third trimester to protect the baby for months after birth.

Most of our surrogates have received the flu shot when pregnant to protect themselves and the baby against the flu. Vaccines reduce the risk of hospitalization and flu-associated acute respiratory infection in pregnant women up to 40%.

Are you interested in learning more about surrogacy? Give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to find out more information!

 

 

The vertex position

Which way is up? 

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The vertex position. A technical term that describes when a baby is delivered headfirst. The vertex position is the ideal position when you are getting ready for labor. But it’s not always the case.

Usually, weeks before you give birth, the baby moves in a position with its head above your vagina. Sometimes, their feet, bottom, or bottom, and feet remain in this area, which is known as breech. There are a few other ways the baby can position themselves, if not in the vertex position. This does not always require a cesarean, but you will have to discuss the best and safest way to deliver with your doctor.

Breech Position

Breech position is when a baby enters the birth canal with the buttocks or feet first, rather than the head. This prevents the cervix (opening to the uterus) from dilating effectively and can lead to the umbilical cord becoming pinched or compressed. Breech position only occurs in approximately 3-4% of deliveries and is more likely in premature births or multiple babies. While breech babies can be delivered vaginally, studies have found that vaginal deliveries are around three times more likely to result in serious harm to the baby than cesarean sections. Therefore, in most cases in the US, breech babies are delivered by c-section. Your doctor can diagnose a breech presentation either by a physical exam or ultrasound.

Shoulder first

Shoulder first is rare and occurs in less than 1% of deliveries. This is when the baby lies sideways in the uterus, rather than head down or buttocks/feet down. If labor begins with the baby in this position, the shoulder becomes wedged in the pelvis, and the delivery usually does not progress. Almost all babies with shoulder presentation will need to be delivered by cesarean section. Shoulder presentation, like breech presentation, is more common in premature babies or the setting of multiple gestations.

External cephalic version (ECV)

ECV is one way to turn a baby from breech position to head-down position while it’s still in the uterus. It involves the doctor applying pressure to your stomach to turn the baby from the outside. Sometimes, an ultrasound is used to help this turn.

Many women who have normal pregnancies can have ECV. You should not have ECV if you have other complications and talk to your doctor if you are comfortable pursuing this option.

No matter what position the baby decides to be in, be sure to have an honest discussion with your doctor about getting the baby in the safest place best for you to deliver and get the little one into the arms of your intended parents.

Begin your surrogacy journey with Shared Conception. Call us at either our Houston 713-622-1144 or Dallas 214-390-4024 office for more information. Or visit www.deliveradream.com to get started on an application to become a surrogate.

Gender reveal ideas

Gender Reveal Ideas!

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Gender reveal parties have taken off in the past decade – they have almost taken a life of their own. With their Pinterest Boards, Amazon party kits, and even dedicated websites this is becoming a new tradition. There are so many ways to celebrate the revelation of your soon-to-be baby. We have all seen the reveal bloopers with the powder cannons, balloon popping, cake eating – and laughed, but what if you’re using a surrogate? This makes things a little bit different, but these ideas will let the party start!

Have a party!

There are so many ways to reveal your baby’s gender if you choose to, and the best way is your way. No matter what you do, sharing the expected baby’s gender is a fun way to incorporate everyone in a momentous occasion.

Cake

You don’t need to have a party to have cake! Is there a yummier way to announce the gender of your child? A gender reveal cake is a cake that, when sliced, will show the dominant color of either blue or pink.

Piñata

If you want to get your surrogate’s children or your nieces or nephews involved, children don’t love anything more than a piñata! Having it stuffed with blue or pink goodies is fun and exciting to reveal the gender of your baby to be.

Balloons

Whether you pop them, let them fly, put them in a box – balloons are a fun surprise. You can fill them to pop them, stuff them in a box for a great surprise – and kids love them too!

Sonograms

Sonograms are your first sneak peek at your baby. You can use it to reveal your baby’s gender by adding a pop of color to show the baby’s gender uniquely! Use a cute colored frame or add sweet embellishments to a sonogram photo to create an unforgettable gender reveal!

Include your pet! 

Gender reveals aren’t just for people these days— you can get your family pet involved! Tie a colored scarf, hang a sign, or place baby shoes next to your pet’s paws for a meaningful or photo op!

 

You can be the most significant part of a gender reveal! Begin your surrogacy journey with Shared Conception. Call us at either our Houston 713-622-1144 or Dallas 214-390-4024 office for more information. Or, visit www.deliveradream.com to get started on an application to become a surrogate.

 

 

 

placenta accrete

Our Placentas II – Placenta accrete

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We have recently discussed placenta previa, the cause, risk, symptoms, and treatments. But we are not done talking about the placenta!  Shared Conception would like to fill you in on another condition that affects our placentas, known as placenta accrete.

What is Placenta Accreta

Placenta accreta is a serious pregnancy condition that occurs when the placenta grows too deeply into the uterine wall. This can result in the placenta detaching from the uterine wall after childbirth. With placenta accreta, part or all of the placenta remains attached. This can cause severe blood loss after delivery.

3 Different types of this condition

Each type is determined by how deeply the placenta is attached to the uterus.

  • Placenta accreta: The placenta firmly attaches to the wall of the uterus. It does not pass through the wall of the uterus or impact the muscles of the uterus. This is the most common type of placenta issue.
  • Placenta increta: This type of condition sees the placenta more deeply embedded in the wall of the uterus. It still does not pass through the wall but is firmly attached to the muscle of the uterus.
  • Placenta percreta: The most severe of the types, placenta percreta happens when the placenta passes through the wall of the uterus. The placenta might grow through the uterus and impact other organs, such as the bladder or intestines.

Who is at risk for Placenta Accreta?

Women who have had multiple cesarean sections carry a greater risk of developing this condition.  This results from scarring of the uterus from the procedures. The more cesarean sections a woman has over time, the higher her risk of placenta accreta.

However, women who have had placenta previa should be carefully checked for accreta. Contrary to popular belief, an accreta isn’t always detected on an ultrasound or MRI image before delivery. Although an ultrasound or MRI image can detect an accreta, it is not a guarantee.

What are the risks to the mother and baby from placenta accreta?

The risks of placenta accreta can be severe and can expand beyond the surrogate to the newborn. Once born, the baby may be at additional risk because of premature birth. Risks for the surrogate can include:

  • Premature delivery
  • Damage to the uterus and surrounding organs
  • Need for a hysterectomy (removal of uterus)
  • Excessive bleeding or a blood transfusion
  • Rarely, death

Is there treatment?

Treatment of placenta accreta can vary. If the condition is diagnosed before birth, the pregnancy will be monitored closely. The caregiver will schedule a c-section to deliver the baby, often earlier than the due date. This is done to decrease the risk of bleeding from contractions or labor. If the woman wishes to have future pregnancies, the caregivers may attempt to save the uterus. However, in unusually severe cases where the placenta becomes invasive to other organs, a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) may be the best option for the surrogate. Removing the uterus with the placenta still attached minimizes the risk of excessive bleeding, also known as hemorrhaging.

fall into healthy habits when pregnant

Fall into these Healthy Habits this Season!

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Avoiding sushi and soft cheeses are well-known foods to avoid when you’re pregnant. But here are a few more not-so-well-known changes to make when pregnant.

Try them out! The following can help with fewer aches and pains, less stress, and more energy!

Floss

Your dentist probably tells you this every time you have a cleaning. Flossing is not only important when you are not pregnant but even more necessary when you are pregnant. Pregnancy hormones make your mouth more susceptible to plaque and bacteria, which in turn lead to gum inflammation and other serious gum diseases. You may even notice that your gums are more sensitive and bleed, even if you are an avid flosser. Keeping care of your mouth will help prevent gingivitis and periodontitis (inflammation of the gums). These conditions can increase your risk of preterm labor and preeclampsia. So add some floss picks to your grocery list today. (And brush twice).

Slip in extra R&R

Your body is in overdrive when you are expecting. Think about it, you’re building a life inside you, and a growing baby is putting a lot of demands on your body. On top of that, your hormones are surging – literally sucking the energy out of you. That’s why getting enough rest is so important. Rest not only makes you feel more energized but can curb nausea, reduce aches and pains (especially if you suffer from back pain), lower blood pressure, and even help you sleep better at night.

Snack wisely

We all know that skipping a meal is almost impossible for a surrogate. All of that nourishment is necessary for the baby, but snacking becomes more serious as you go through your journey. You’ll want to have a nutritious snack on hand whenever you need one. If you have healthy choices at your disposal, you are less likely to pick up a candy bar or dive into that bag of chips! Try snacks like trail mix, dried fruit, nuts, or whole-grain crackers to keep in your purse for those hunger attacks when you are on the go.

Choose healthier drinks

You may want to find some alternatives to coffee and soda when you’re pregnant; even simply cutting back will be better for you. Caffeine and sugar often act as diuretics and can wash out essential nutrients before your body can absorb them. Also, all of those mouth-watering coffee drinks can be filled with calories, sugar, and more caffeine than you may think. The best drink for you is good old H2O. And, it doesn’t have to be boring! Make it interesting with a slice of orange, lemon, or lime, or even spice it up with some herbs.

Get in the water

Although you may feel like you are wearing a permanent flotation device, consider swimming. Laps and aqua aerobics will do wonders for your pregnant self, and it helps relieve aches and pains (especially as your belly grows) and improves circulation and endurance. There is nothing like feeling weightless in the water.

Eating right, working out, and drinking plenty of water is good for you, pregnant or not. Listen to your body and make a point of slowing down every now and then. Enjoy your pregnancy! Need some more tips? Feel free to contact Shared Conception. If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy, give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way.  Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to find out more information!

 

the placenta

Our Placentas

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The Placenta

Pregnancy and the ability to be a surrogate is nothing short of a miracle. From the joy it gives another family, to the science behind carrying a child that isn’t biologically related to you. There are many things involved in each process, including life-changing ones.

 

Between the surge of hormones and growing tummy to mood swings and that chocolate you had to have at 11:30 at night, many changes occur in pregnant women’s bodies. What we will focus on in this article is a topic not spoken about often: the placenta and placenta previa.

 

Usually, during the initial pregnancy stages, the placenta is near the bottom of your womb, by the cervix or the opening. Although as your baby grows and your uterus expands, your placenta automatically moves toward the top, leaving the space clear for the birth. While that’s how things work naturally, for many women, if the placenta stays towards the bottom of the uterus, blocking the cervix, it’s a condition known as placenta previa.

When it occurs

Placenta previa occurs when the placenta partly or completely covers the cervix, which is the opening of the uterus. Your baby passes into the cervix and through the birth canal during vaginal delivery. Typically, the placenta attaches toward the top of the uterus, away from the cervix.

Placenta previa is estimated to occur in around one in every 200 pregnancies in the second or third trimester.

 

Diagnosis

Placenta previa gets diagnosed through ultrasound, either during your routine prenatal appointment or if you experience vaginal bleeding. Bleeding can require an abdominal ultrasound and/or transvaginal ultrasound. Your health care provider will have to be careful not to disrupt the placenta or cause further bleeding.

 

There are several options to manage placenta previa, but there is no medical or surgical treatment to cure this condition. If your health care provider suspects placenta previa, they will avoid routine vaginal exams to reduce the risk of heavy bleeding. You may need some additional ultrasounds to check the location of your placenta during your pregnancy to see if placenta previa resolves.

 

Is it harmful to the baby?

Roughly 15% of women with placenta previa deliver before 34 weeks gestation. This creates a risk for premature birth complications, including breathing problems, low birth weight, and birth injuries such as cerebral palsy and hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy.

In most cases, placenta previa goes away. 

The majority of placenta previa cases resolve on their own. As the uterus grows, it pulls the placenta up, and the positioning becomes normal by 20 weeks. If a placenta previa is still present after 20 weeks, you will need to have ultrasounds every 2 to 4 weeks to monitor the Previa.

 

Why not take the next step and open a dialogue with Shared Conception? Give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to begin an application to become a gestational surrogate and find out more information!