Giving the baby to intended parents

Giving Baby to Intended Parents

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Is It Hard to Give Up the Baby?

As a two-time surrogate, this has always been the first question asked after anyone finds out that I have been a gestational carrier. The short answer is “no.” I became a surrogate to help fulfill someone else’s dream of having a family. I was performing a service that the intended parent could not. It was my job to care for, nurture and help grow their precious cargo that I carried for 39 weeks. After all, I had my own children to come home to and care for.

And to be honest, my favorite part of the surrogacy journey was seeing the doctor hand the baby to the intended parents. In both cases, it took years for these parents to have their baby put into their arms. I was elated to have been a part in the creation of their family; which I still am a part of today.

Being a surrogate is not for everyone and not just anyone can do it. On top of being medically evaluated, my husband and I went through a psychological evaluation to ensure that we were both mentally prepared for the journey. Some people I have talked to, cannot even imagine doing anything like it. I only wish they could have walked a mile in my shoes. I found support and a common bond, through Shared Conception, with many strong, beautiful and empowering women like myself. All of us have loved being a surrogate and giving the gift of life to a family.

I always loved being pregnant. I knew this was something I could do. I loved my first surrogacy journey so much, that I did it again! I thoroughly enjoyed making someone’s dream, a reality. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, I highly recommend Shared Conception. Their experience and expertise in the process made me feel completely supported and is the reason I chose to do another journey.

Interested in learning more about surrogacy? Give them a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com! Even if you have questions, ask for a quick, no pressure consultation by phone.

– Written by Courtney; a Shared Conception surrogate

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Nesting as a Surrogate

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Nesting is natural. Animals even do it. This ritual is ingrained in us! Nesting is when a pregnant woman prepares for her soon to arrive bundle of joy! However, you are most likely to reach for that feather duster rather than real feathers! As a surrogate, the big difference is that you are not preparing for an arrival, but rather a joyous departure. But the instinct is still there, and many of our surrogates have used it to their advantage. Nesting usually occurs in the middle to end of the third trimester and sometimes earlier. This instinct is just as powerful in humans as it is in animals.

This is a great time to clean out that pantry, reorganize your kitchen and finish some of those DIY projects you started. Stay productive and safe. Some activities that are satisfying and safe are: sweeping out the garage, finding matches for all those missing socks, or organizing your drawers and closets. Your partner may think you are insane, but just tell them to “go with it.” It is nice to get that burst of energy that you may have been longing for, and your family will benefit from it. Who doesn’t need some organization in their life?

Of course, every surrogate has a different journey and everyone’s body is different. There is nothing wrong, if the nesting urge doesn’t occur. Shared Conception encourages all surrogates to enjoy these moments as they all form the unique experience of helping create another family.

Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support you throughout the pregnancy. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

 

 

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Pregnant? Beat the heat this summer!

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Believe it or not, there are some advantages to being pregnant in the summer. You don’t have to worry about squeezing your swollen feet into shoes when you have the option to wear sandals, and those stylish flowy dresses are very comfortable and chic.

But, with temperatures in Texas already climbing and becoming more muggy, it can get unbearable. Summer can also pose some of its own risks to those that are pregnant. Overheating is very common and scary.

Here are some ways to remain cool and comfy this summer:

  1. Drink water. You need an extra 2-4 glasses of water a day when you are carrying. Stay hydrated. Carry a water bottle with you everywhere you go. The sudden urge of thirst can sneak up on you at any time. Make it tasty by adding a slice of lemon, cucumber or lime for a hint of flavor.
  2. Seek shade. Over exposure to the sun, puts you at risk even more while pregnant. Not only can it cause you to overheat, but if your skin is prone to melasma (dark patches that appear on your skin) the shade can help prevent it.
  3. Changes in body temperature can be risky. It’s hot outside and cool inside. Your body is in overdrive when it has to continually adjust to temperature. If you find yourself outside for long periods of time, wear light, breathable clothing, a wide-brimmed hat and have your water handy.
  4. Putting your feet up is part of your job! When it is hot, our feet, ankles and legs swell up faster. Even if you are working, put a stool underneath your desk for an invisible relief!
  5. Take a cool shower. This will not only cool down your body but help minimize swelling. This will also help you relax before bed. And remember, there is no limit to cool showers! Some of our Shared Conception surrogates have told us that they take multiple showers a day!

Interested in learning more about surrogacy? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com and let’s talk!

 

 

 

Embryos

Surplus Embryos

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When dealing with infertility, there are so many crucial decisions that have to be made. It is truly exhausting. Many parents who have struggled with infertility, find themselves with a surplus of embryos and struggle with the decision of what do with them.

When parents are going through fertility treatments, they usually want as many embryos as possible, in case it takes more than one try to get pregnant. It’s common to need to do more than one transfer; even to a surrogate.  Also, the parents might want extra embryos for a future sibling. So, what happens when their family is complete and they find themselves with a surplus of embryos?

This topic has become controversial and has even made headlines. We all remember the famous, or infamous California mom who implanted all eight of her embryos and delivered all eight babies because she couldn’t fathom disposing or donating any of her embryos. But not everyone is up to that challenge. So, what are the options?

Parents have the option of keeping the embryos in storage, disposing of them, donating to research or donating to an infertile couple. The latest research shows that many couples don’t know what to do and continue to pay storage fees year after year. Most parents feel a sense of responsibility for their embryos. They still count them as their children – their offspring; so donating them to research seems cold to them. Furthermore, donating to research can pose a problem due to current federal legislation.

Letting another infertile couple adopt their embryos would be a very sweet and unselfish act if the parents can live with the knowledge that their biological children are out there in the world somewhere.

In the meantime, storage facilities continue to host hundreds of thousands of embryos until parents make those difficult decisions.

There is no easy answer to this question and parents will have to come to their own conclusion.

Are you and your partner storing embryos and unable to carry on your own? Surrogacy is a great option. We can match you with the perfect candidate and will be with you throughout this incredible journey. If you are interested in locating a surrogate visit www.sharedconception.com and contact us! We would love to hear from you.

 

 

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The Joy of Being a Surrogate

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It is usually a long and winding road travelled that a couple or an individual has been on before deciding to have a surrogate carry their child. Then at that point, a whole new journey begins when they decide on surrogacy. They seek the help of Shared Conception and a special woman with a giving heart.

When an Intended Parent is matched with a surrogate, a bond forms. It’s different for everyone but the basics are the same. This is when wanting and giving come together to travel the same path for as long as the journey takes.

To the intended parents, a surrogate who is healthy and willing to carry a baby for them means HOPE; she is a gift unlike any other. Month by month, trimester after trimester, the greatest gift of all is achieved; a child to enhance a family.

What most people don’t realize is that women who choose to become surrogates, don’t do it for the money or the recognition. They do it for the intense satisfaction and absolute joy that it brings to them. The fulfillment that they receive is from seeing the look on the faces of the new parents when they hear their baby’s first heartbeat and when they finally get to meet their precious child, and hundreds of moments in between. These are the reasons that surrogates often embark on multiple journeys! Being a part of these priceless moments makes surrogate mothers shine. No monetary compensation could equal the pure joy they feel when sharing something so life-changing with the intended parents.

If you are a woman looking for something more to give in life, ask yourself these questions: Are you ready to change a total stranger’s life and make a difference in the world?  Are you ready for YOUR life to be changed forever?

Like any other journey, this journey may have roadblocks and bumps along the way, but it is an adventure. And if you are the kind of person who can be selfless and can open your heart up to possibilities, it may just be the most rewarding experience of your life. Call us at Shared Conception and get more information on becoming a surrogate!

 

post and pre birth talking points

Pre and Post Birth Talking Points!

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What happens after you meet the intended parents, agree to ride this incredible journey with them and them have a wonderful experience throughout your pregnancy?  As you approach the time for the birth, you should start to think about the pre-birth and hospital considerations. Here is a list of the points you want to discuss and understand, so you have a great finish to your surrogacy experience.

 

  • You’ll want to discuss with the intended parents about how they want to experience labor and delivery. Also, discuss any your wants and wishes during the labor process. Remember, if you have any concerns or fears, Shared Conception is there to help you navigate through this very sensitive, emotional but also wonderful period.

 

  • Make sure you establish a plan so the intended parents can easily reach you when“it’s time”! Arriving at the hospital together will help hospital staff relate to you as a unit. Staff will be more understanding, accommodating and flexible if they see you as a respectful team.
  • Set your level of comfort with your intended Mom regardingthe difference between “supportive” and “too much”. Ask questions about expectations rather than make assumptions.
  • Before your visit to the hospital, brush up on the policies about who may attend the
    birth, what happens if a c-section is required, ID bands, staying at the
    hospital overnight, nursery or“rooming-in”  Shared Conception will always help
    address these issues.

 

  • After the birth, the intended parents will follow the baby to
    watch the bath, and first exams. We encourage the intended parents to check back with you
    often to see how you are doing. Some surrogate mothers feel left out and lost at this point and are truly concerned about the baby.
  • Have your support person take lots of pictures– pictures help re-experience what happened. These things happen so fast and this will allow you to better complete the
    emotional process. Plus, pictures are fun to share and help others to celebrate.
    A lack of pictures can be a regret. However, it’s very important to make sure that the intended parents are okay with you taking pictures.
  • In our experience, it is a joy for the surrogate mother to see the new parents
    with their baby. Spending time together in the hospital room and holding the baby is fun as much as it is important.
  • Years of experience proves that it is BEST if a surrogate mother (with her family) and baby/babies (with new parents) leave the hospital at the same time when possible.
  • Post birth contact can be difficult when contact changes from very frequent (prior to the birth) to infrequent or no contact after leaving the hospital. Our best advice is to check in with the intended parents when you arrive home but do understand that they are busy with the baby and may not be able to get back to you as quickly as before.

 

Shared Conception is fully committed to expertly and compassionately guiding you through the pre and post-birth hospital considerations. Call on us, we are here to help.

 

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Surrogacy Through a Family Member

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When Intended parents search for a surrogate, they have many questions and try to get the idea of the lifestyle that a potential surrogate lives. If that person is part of your family, it is probably more comforting to know them, their medical history, and background. However, such a close relationship can lead to other complications. That is why intended parents much cautiously and carefully evaluate the situation and consider the following:

  • Fees, Expenses and Reimbursements

It is quite possible that the family member that will potentially become your surrogate will refuse any financial compensation. It can be uncomfortable for many because it creates an imbalance. There are other ways of compensation such as contributions to your surrogates biological child’s college fund, a prepaid vacation or big gift post-delivery. Most of these generosities should also be stated in writing in the contract.

  • Psyhcological Evaluation

Any agency, including Shared Conception, will help schedule a thorough psychological evaluation for your surrogate, whether it’s your sister, cousin, niece, etc. Most evaluations include an oral interview and psychological test. This is a step that must not be skipped.

  • Independent Legal Counsel

Although family members prefer to keep their dealings informal, it’s important to remember that surrogacy is a legal arrangement that involves legal transactions and must be taken care of correctly, with legal representation for both parties. Surrogate mothers put themselves at risk physically. It is imperative to have representation. Shared Conception works with highly trained attorneys that represent your best interests.

  • Guardianship

Before an embryo is transferred, it is necessary to have a pre birth order for guardianship of the child in the gestational agreement. This way, all expectations are realistically managed.

  • Counseling Facilitation

Shared Conception can arrange family counseling before the transfer, or IVF procedure. From our experience, we know family member can ride a roller coaster of emotions. Unresolved family issues can surface during a stressful time. In the event of a failed pregnancy attempt, the surrogate mother may blame herself. Counseling can help all participants move through a stressful or grieving process and in deciding on the next step.

Think twice about asking a family member to become a surrogate mother. However, when adequately prepared, having a family member help you create your family becomes a rewarding experience for the entire family. Shared Conception is equipped and ready to help. Visit us online www.sharedconception.com or give us a call today! We would love to hear from you!

Emotions after birth

Post Baby Emotions

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Here is a scenario, a surrogate mother has just delivered her surrogate baby. What is she going to do next? Is she going to Disneyland? Is she touring Napa Valley?  Chances are this woman will simply jump back into the routine of her life with her own family, while possibly experiencing post-partum mood swings.

Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, loves reading all the emails and letters about successful surrogate birth stories. However, some of these women can struggle after pregnancy. There is such thing as feeling sad after birth, whether it is your baby or a surrogate baby. Even when you are uplifted by your support group, some women can get depressed immediately after giving birth.

It’s nearly the same with any surrogacy arrangement; a surrogate dedicates approximately one year to help the intended mother experience something she can never personally fully experience. What happens after the birth?

Surrogate mothers, who candidly describe their emotions, usually speak of feeling completely elated one moment and devastated another moment; mainly because their participation in this amazing experience is over. In most cases, it is not the baby they miss – it is either:

  • the surrogacy itself
  • the intended parents
  • the “specialness” of being pregnant
  • the hormones

These emotions and reactions are usually considered to be completely normal; it’s just not openly discussed. Any potential surrogate should be aware that she isn’t the only surrogate mother who has ever cried when the baby left the hospital with his or her new parents, or when she said goodbye to her intended parents.

Whether it’s intended parents who have been trying to have a child of their own for years and who finally had to turn to surrogacy, or intended parents who came to surrogacy from the very beginning of their journey as a way to conceive – the end of the surrogacy is not considered to be an end at all. It is merely the beginning of their dreams.  As you enjoy and adjust to your new baby, remember your surrogate with a grateful heart and a gentle smile. If you can, stay in touch with your surrogate. She will ENJOY seeing sporadic or consistent pictures or maybe visiting – basically in whatever capacity you are comfortable with sharing your baby.

Shared Conception is compassionately here to help both the intended parents and the surrogate work through their emotions.  We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form. We would love to hear from you!

12 Common Misconceptions About Content Marketing

“Mis”Conceptions

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Have you heard of surrogacy? Throughout recent years, it’s become an increasingly popular alternative to pregnancy when all other fertility options are exhausted. Celebrities are doing it and being public about it. You may even know someone who is or has been a surrogate or someone that has needed one. Nevertheless, there are often stigmas, assumptions and myths attached to this intricate process.

Once of the most common misconceptions is that the surrogate mother is genetically linked to the child. A surrogate, or gestational carrier is impregnated through the IVF process with an embryo created by the intended mother (or donor egg) and the intended father’s sperm (or donor sperm). This is called gestational surrogacy.

A popular belief to one who is not familiar or educated about the surrogacy process, is that the surrogate will become attached to the baby that they are carrying and be unable to give it to the intended parents at the time of birth.  Surrogates, also known to us as  “selfless women warriors”, already know that this is expected at the end of the surrogacy journey. Plus, the baby is not genetically linked to the surrogate, as mentioned above. And lastly, by law, in certain states like Texas, surrogates have no legal rights to the child.

An unfortunate fallacy to the surrogate process is that it is unaffordable. It is expensive but many families have grown their family through surrogacy, and you can’t put a price on that. Shared Conception is open to talking about how you can get loans and other ways to make your dreams of a family, a reality.

On a high note, surrogacy is becoming more and more accepted into today’s society. Shared Conception is dedicated to walking you through this process to achieve your goal of creating or expanding your family. Contact us with any questions; we will be happy to speak with you.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support you throughout the pregnancy. Our coordinators will expertly act as a liaison between you and the intended parents and ensure that everyone has a beautiful journey. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form. We would love to hear from you!

 

 

 

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Building Your Surrogacy Support System

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A Successful surrogacy is a group effort. It includes cooperation from the surrogate, egg donor, intended parents, nurses, doctors, social workers, attorneys and coordinators. With a similar goal, a successful team is committed to openness, honesty and clear communication.

There is one part of the team that does not get all the attention they deserve. That is your support system. This system is vital and includes spouses, partners, family members and friends who encourage you throughout your journey. So how do you become that exceptional part of a surrogacy support system?

  1. Be aware of surrogacy. Great surrogate candidates have spent a large amount of time researching he process. A great support person has a clear understanding of what the process means and why it is so selfless and life changing.
  2. Open conversations. To be a great supporter, it’s important to communicate with the surrogate about any sensitive subject matter, be a shoulder to cry on in any hormonal or emotional period, or just be someone to talk to.
  3. Intended parents often attend medical appointments with their surrogate and if they live close to each other, they occasionally have lunch or a get together with them. This is also required from a person in the surrogate’s support bubble. If the intended parents cannot make it to the appointments, offering to take your surrogate friend or family member to her appointments can mean a lot to them.
  4. Help out! There are so many ways to do so and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to clean and endure housework! You can help with any emotional issue, childcare, errands, picking up prescriptions, cooking a meal, or you can get creative and do something like leaving a colorful and supportive message in chalk on her driveway!

These are just some examples of what makes a good support system a GREAT supports system. Feel lucky you were chosen! This is an honor and a wonderful journey to be a part of. You are helping to create a family and helping to give someone a priceless gift. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception thanks everyone that has been or will be a part of a support system. We always let our surrogates know that we are a part of that system too and are also honored to be a part of their journey.

Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support our surrogates throughout the pregnancy. Our client coordinators will expertly act as a liaison between you and the intended parents. We will ensure that any sensitive or difficult subject matters are tactfully brought up and handled. We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you