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Gifts for your Surrogate – Do you have to buy them?

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Your surrogate is giving you and your family more than you can ask for. Our intended parents often ask us about gifts for their surrogate. Although gifts are not required, some feel the need to express their gratitude with small tokens of appreciation along the way. The hardest part is figuring out what to get her. When our parents are matched, Shared Conception shares the surrogate’s favorites list. This is a tool to help you get to know your surrogate and help aid in the gift giving search.

Here are some of the most frequent times during a journey, that are excellent opportunities to give a gift: the first time you meet face to face, at the 20-week ultrasound or anatomy scan, and at the birth of the baby. All are great moments to show your gratitude.

If you decide to give a gift to your surrogate at any point in the journey, here are some ideas from other Shared Conception parents we would like to share with you.

  •      Candles or bath sets in her favorite scent
  •      Gift certificate for a manicure or pedicure
  •      A “date night” for your surrogate and her significant other

Many intended parents buy gifts for the surrogate’s children. After all, they are a huge part of the journey as well. This could be something as simple as a board game or a stuffed animal. Many of our surrogates believe that involving their children in the journey is important – and it is nice to show your gratitude to them as well.

Post-birth gifts can be simple and very helpful for your surrogate. Having groceries delivered, meal services and gift cards to their favorite restaurants for take-out, are favorite post-birth gifts among our surrogates.

Surrogacy journeys foster a special bond unlike any that you will ever have. If you are interested in surrogacy or becoming a surrogate, give Shared Conception a call today.

 

 

 

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Packing List for Intended Parents

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When the baby arrives, it’s an exciting time, but also hectic. They baby can come earlier or later. Your hospital bag should be packed and ready to go at least two weeks before the due date to ensure you have everything you need for the hospital stay. Shared Conception has compiled a list of necessities to include in your hospital bag. We understand that there is a lot to think about when you are getting ready for baby, so to take the pressure off and follow our list of suggestions to prevent over or under packing.

 ID’s and documents

  • Driver’s License (or picture ID or passport), Insurance card, and any hospital paperwork –You might be able to pre-register the baby at the hospital. Contact the hospital’s registration desk or social worker for more info.
  • Copy of pre-birth order – The hospital should have this by now but it’s better to be safe and have a copy with you.
  • Copy of birth plan (if you have one) –We will work with you and your surrogate to establish a birth plan

Electronics 

  • Phone –Make a list of those who you wish to contact after the birth. You can even create a group text ahead of time to make it easier on you. Sometimes you can label the group text
  • Charger (and extension cord) –Often plugs are not as close as you would like, so bring a long charger, power bank, or extension cord.
  • Camera/Video Camera (batteries, charger, and memory card) –You will want to capture so many wonderful memories in these first few days!

Apparel

  • Comfortable clothes, socks, slippers, etc.- you might be at the hospital for a few days, so tale clothes to change into, sleep in, etc.
  • Light Jacket– Hospitals can be cold
  • Pillow & Blanket –The hospital will be able to provide these essentials, but having your own comforts help you relax more.
  • Eye mask and earplugs –To help you get some rest
  • Toiletries –The hospital will have the essentials like shampoo, soap, but you might prefer your own. Also, be sure to bring all your personal toiletries such as toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, hair brush, comb, face wash, lip balm
  • Medications –if you are on any daily medications
  • Button up shirt or Robe – If your birth plan is to do skin to skin after, this will help make this easier
  • Eyeglass, contact case, etc.

Miscellaneous

  • Cash –For cafeteria, vending machines, parking
  • Snacks –Take foods that help provide you with energy and provide a pick me up. Nuts, granola, fresh or dried fruits, crackers, chocolate, etc.
  • Entertainment –books, magazine, tablet, laptop. Reading or watching a show/movie will help you relax and fill in the down time.
  • Notepad/journal and pen/pencil– in case you need to jot down notes, questions or memories. Some choose to bring the baby book to start recording details right away

For Baby

  • Blanket, sleepers, hat, mittens, onesies for baby –the hospital will typically provide a swaddle blanket, onesie, hat, diapers, etc. However, you can also take your own if you’d like. Sleepers/gowns that open at the bottom or zip up are a good idea. During colder weather it is best to have a heavy blanket for the car seat
  • Going home outfit for baby –Consider the weather conditions. A Onesie or a simple two-piece outfit might be fine for warmer weather. In colder weather, you might need something warmer such as blankets, hats, etc.
  • Car seat –Have a rear facing car seat already installed ahead of time. Some local fire departments will inspect to ensure it is installed correctly. Learn how to work the car seat and buckle the baby in.

DO NOT TAKE:

Jewelry, valuables, lots of cash, diapers, wipes, bottles or formula.

Shared Conception wants our Intended parents to walk into the hospital without worry. After all, you are embarking on another wonderful and loving journey to bring your baby home. If you are interested in surrogacy to expand or create your family, give us a call today, we would love to speak with you!

 

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The Day Before IVF

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This is not an article about all the medications you take before IVF as a surrogate, or the doctor visits before IVF. This is about you and how you feel the day before the IVF procedure. On a personal note, I remember my first day before IVF, as I have had 2 wonderful journeys. I thought to myself, “Am I really doing this?”

Going through the entire process of becoming a surrogate is wonderful. You help create a family and give your intended parents the most wonderful gift anyone can receive. But, that doesn’t mean you will never be nervous about it. I wasn’t worried about becoming attached to the baby or having trouble leaving the hospital without one. I was just nervous about IVF. I thought to myself, what if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong? And my biggest fear was miscarrying. Because of my wonderful relationship with my IPs, I knew all about the heartache they endured when told they could not have children. I felt a huge weight on my shoulders.

But the truth is, you are doing the best you can for them. You do not have control over the embryo or even the outcome of the IVF process. And of course, we all want the best result; a pregnancy, a healthy journey, a healthy baby – and lots of happy tears. It’s all we can hope for because a pregnancy is never guaranteed. My advice to my surro sisters is to go in with a positive attitude, and try to keep one along the way. It’s called a “journey” because there are any bumps in the road but the end result makes it all worthwhile!

Written by Courtney Clinton – 2X Proud Gestational Surrogate

 

 

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Tips on finding a housekeeper

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One of the perks of surrogacy is around 32 weeks, unless differently outlined in your contract, you are blessed with a housekeeping angel! This takes so much stress off of your plate! By this time in your journey, daily tasks are becoming more and more difficult. The housekeeping allowance is designed to take some of the pressure off.

If you have a housekeeper, great! Just make sure you get a receipt from them so you can be reimbursed. If you are searching for a housekeeper now, don’t stress! Here are some tips on how to find the perfect one.

  1. Search online. There are many online services that can connect you with a local. Some options include:

Merry Maids

Angi

Housekeeprs.com

Care.com

  1. Ask our friends, relatives and neighbors. In addition to online searches, ask around. Your best reference is one who has had their homes cleaned by a housekeeper and can tell you their honest opinions about the quality of a housekeeper’s work.
  2. Interview a few potential housekeepers. Once you have found a few potential candidates that you like, take the time to do an interview. In-person interviews are best, but even a phone call can give you a feel for whether you will be able to communicate well with your housekeeper. Clear communication between yourself and your housekeeper will ensure your cleaning needs are met and you remain a happy pregnant!

If you are interested in surrogacy, give us a call today for a no pressure, informative chat!

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Pregnancy Pillows

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When you are far enough along in your pregnancy, you may discover some aches and pains. It comes with the territory. There are so many support and full body pregnancy pillows on the market. When you are shopping for one, where do you begin? Good news is that you have options and Amazon!

PharMeDoc Pregnancy Pillow – C-shaped style offers unparalleled support to relieve achy joints helping you to get a good night’s sleep. If you prefer a flat pillow at night, this pillow has been known to have a fluffiness that you may not need. You may want to refer to the Lavish Home pillow listed below.

Lavish home– At a very reasonable price, this full body support pillow offers comfort and support and has a 100% cotton cover that can be removed and washed. It is also not as stuffed as similar competitors if you prefer a flatter pillow.

Boppy– you may have one of these from your bio babes way back in the closet somewhere. Since this is a smaller pillow, it takes up less space so your partner doesn’t feel that there is another person in your bed at night. Because of its small size, you can use this to target your most needed areas for support.

Leachco– This is not a full body support pillow but is smaller and supports the belly and legs. Many prefer this pillow, because you can use your own head pillow with the Leacho.

Queen Rose– This is considered the crème de la crème of pregnancy pillows. It is large and takes up a lot of space but the support for the whole body is unparalleled. This pillow is also great for post-partum sleep while your body is re-adjusting to post pregnancy life.

Shared Conception wants nothing but the most comfortable and smooth journey for our surrogates. Give us a call today if you are interested in becoming a surrogate. We would love to hear from you!

 

 

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The Taboo Subject: Compensation

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Money is rarely the driving reason behind becoming a surrogate. All of our surrogates love the idea of helping a family, enjoy being pregnant and feel that this journey is more of a calling. But that doesn’t mean compensation is not deserved for the intense labor (no pun intended) that is involved. Surrogacy is a full-time, 24/7 job. Between the matching process, medical appointments, pre-transfer preparation and transfer, this process can take 12-18 months! So yes, you do deserve compensation for the service that you provide.

With that said, how is compensation disbursed? Our clients at Shared Conception, use a surrogacy escrow agency. This agency, along with your contract, is your direct line to all your financial questions. And, most importantly, it prevents any awkward conversations about finances between you and your Intended Parents.

With the help of a surrogacy escrow agency, here are the top 3 most common versions of compensation schedules. It varies by attorney, so these are just examples:

  1. Compensation begins on the 1stor 15thof the month following a heartbeat confirmation, and on the same date each month after, usually 8 or 9 installments.

 

  1. Compensation starts with confirmation of a heartbeat and the same day of the month thereafter. Dividing the agreed upon compensation “salary” into 8-10 installments. This version will end with a large payment at the end if it’s 10 installments.

 

  1. Compensation starts with heartbeat confirmation, and every 4 weeks thereafter. This one is usually divided into 10 installments.

Prorated compensation usually doesn’t come into play unless there is a premature delivery, and this varies greatly by contract. For example, if they deliver prior to the week listed (say 32 for a singleton), contracts usually pay a prorated daily amount thru delivery. If compensation is received the 1st, delivered the 12th, then a daily rate is disbursed for those 11 days.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call for a no pressure, informative chat! We would love to hear from you!

 

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Surviving the Summer Fashionably

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It is in your contract for maternity clothes stipend between your 12th and 15th week. Finding maternity clothes that actually fit and flatter can be challenging for many moms-to-be. But with comfortably fitting maternity clothing, you’ll look—and feel—your best as you go through each trimester. Below are some suggestions to consider before going on your maternity shopping spree. 

Choose lightweight summer maternity clothes.

• Show off your precious baby bump. 
• Pick your footwear carefully! Try to choose supportive footwear.
• Go for a dip with maternity swimwear. Even show your blossoming belly! *Always wear sunscreen. 
• Replace your jeans with jean shorts. Same purpose, just cooler.
• Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! Adding a necklace or cute pair of earrings can make all the difference!
• Keep your hair off your face. There is nothing more annoying than being uncomfortable with hair tickling your face. 
• Layer up your summer maternity clothes smartly. It’s hot outside, cold in the grocery store, hot in the car, etc. Layer up to maintain optimal comfort. 

If you can’t commit to a whole new wardobe, clothing rental services are a great way to go through each trimester…fashionably! Rent the Runway has a great variety of maternity clothes available to rent and even a subscription service, giving you access to many different sizes and styles of designer brands. There is a standard subscription and an unlimited subscription option that gives you four new pieces a month, but the difference with unlimited is the ability to swap out pieces whenever you like and keep them for as long as you want.

Below are some of our favorite, reasonably priced sites that our surrogates have suggested to us.

https://www.pinkblushmaternity.com

https://us.asos.com/women/maternity/cat/?cid=5813

https://www.zulily.com

Shared Conception is committed to our surrogates and intended parents throughout their entire journey! Interested in becoming a surrogate, or just want to get more information? Give us a call today! 

Escrow

Surrogacy Escrow Service

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Your surrogacy contract includes using an escrow agency. This service allows a third party (the escrow agency) to hold and dispense funds during the surrogacy process. This can continue up to six months after birth. The escrow agency acts on behalf of the intended parents to ensure that the surrogate is being paid accurately and on time.

 

As you may know, a lot of paperwork is involved throughout the entire surrogacy process, and it doesn’t stop with an escrow agency. Intended parents will most likely, fill out the bulk of the paperwork and the surrogate provides banking information in order for payment to be directly deposited into her account. The surrogate is responsible for keeping any related receipts and filling out disbursement requests, so she can be reimbursed for things such as: medical visits, co-pays, housekeeping, lost wages, etc. Be sure to check your contract to know what can be reimbursed.

 

There are a number of benefits in using an escrow agency. Escrow agencies protect intended parents and surrogates. Having an escrow guarantees that the surrogate gets paid on time and with the appropriate amount.  Escrow accounts also guarantee that the intended parents have the means to cover the cost of the journey. It gives everyone peace of mind to know that their money is safe and being allocated on-time and appropriately. And it prevents any awkward conversation about money or finances between the surrogate and intended parents.

 

Shared Conception chooses to work with escrow agencies for the benefit of all parties involved in this process. We believe that it ensures a smooth journey for everyone. Whether you are looking into using a surrogate or becoming one, give us a call today for a free consultation. We are always willing to answer any of your questions!

 

 

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The Truth Behind Pickles and Ice Cream

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Not many pregnancy conversations leave out the topic of cravings and how crazy they can become. Needless to say, when you are pregnant, you learn the truth behind pickles and ice cream.

Your regular, everyday cravings will stick with you throughout pregnancy. They may even intensify. Then, there are the bizarre cravings that you may not even think of with a non-pregnancy brain. Cravings begin in the first trimester and tend to peak in the second. They are unpredictable and may not ever be able to be explained.

Hormone shifts are a large part of the explanation for cravings. Since everything in your body is changing, your taste buds will too. A heightened sense of smell and taste can open your mind to a whole new world of cravings or aversions. So even odors can become more enticing or more unpleasant. There are many theories about what causes cravings in pregnancy, but we still don’t know for sure.

Make sure your cravings do not replace nutrient dense foods. Even if broccoli, dark leafy greens, blueberries or oranges are not on your “must have” list, make sure you incorporate them and other nutrient dense foods into your diet because you and the baby really need it. You don’t want to gain more weight than necessary or develop other problems such as gestational diabetes.

Simple substitutions with healthy alternatives can satisfy a pregnancy craving.  It is important to understand where your cravings are stemming from. Be sure to talk to your doctor about your strong cravings so they can suggest healthy alternatives.

Shared Conception is with you every step of the way through your surrogacy journey. Give us a call today, we would love to chat with you!

Surrogacy Financing

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With an experienced agency such as, Shared Conception, we have spoken to thousands of people interested in surrogacy. One of the topics that ALWAYS comes up is financing. And that is perfectly normal. There are a lot of costs involved. It is a big financial decision and requires a lot of conversation, planning, and researching. The majority of our clients go through different avenues when it comes to financing a journey. To make it easy for those considering surrogacy, here are a list of avenues our clients have taken when it comes to financing.

 

1) Prosper lending – This financing company is designed for different healthcare procedures including surrogacy. These loans are different than others because they offer simple interest loans with many benefits that make this process more affordable. https://app.prosperhealthcare.com/025126

 

 

2) Borrow from family members. It truly does take a village. Many clients have borrowed from family members; grandparents who are super excited about grandkids.

 

3) Obtain a home equity loan.

 

4) Borrow against your 401K as a hardship loan.

 

5) Most fertility clinics have a financing company that they use. That would most likely be for only the medical portion.  Even if you don’t need the money for an egg retrieval, they might be able to finance the surrogate screening, embryo transfer to the surrogate and the monitoring.  You would have to talk with your clinic to get more information.

 

You will need to ask your clinic about the following costs:

– Your egg retrieval

– Surrogate’s screening

– Genetic testing PGD/PGS (if this is something you and your doctor are interested in doing.)

– Embryo transfer to the surrogate

– Surrogate’s monitoring for the first trimester

– medications for your retrieval and the surrogate’s transfer

– Any other medical costs

 

There are also websites that can give you information about grants and foundations. They are based on financial need so they can be difficult to get.

 

http://www.fertilityauthority.com/costs/grants-and-aid-infertility-treatment

 

http://www.fertilitywithinreach.org/financial-assistance-grants/

 

Shared Conception does not profit if you choose any of these options. Our full-service agency is designed to make the impossible possible and that is why we go above and beyond to help our clients in every way possible. Give us a call today!