If you’re reading this, you are most likely researching surrogacy and all that it entails. And while you’re probably still learning the ins and outs of the process, there are some things you should know that may not pop up in your next internet search.

As we want you to be fully informed as intended parents, our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, gathered a list of the top things to avoid when researching and planning a surrogacy.

1. Don’t just consider the independent route. Working with a surrogacy agency affords you a service that directly provides or arranges all the required screening, matching, medical procedures, and legal actions needed in a surrogacy. More importantly, safeguarding your parental rights and establishing parentage requires solid legal information to which we have access.

2. Don’t work with an agency or clinic that doesn’t adhere to ethical guidelines.
These guidelines have been developed to assist physicians with clinical decisions regarding the care of their patients. Guidelines are also in place for egg donor evaluations, optimal screening processes, appropriate payments to oocyte donors, and more.

3.Don’t set unrealistic expectations. Surrogacy and egg donation are human experiences. No one can control how and when an individual will respond to medication; whether or not travel plans need to be changed at the last minute; or whether, despite seemingly ideal conditions, a pregnancy will be achieved on a given transfer.
These elements are often out of your control, out of your egg donor’s control, out of your surrogate’s control, out of your clinic’s control, and out of your surrogacy agency’s control.

4.Don’t forget your support system. Rely on your spouse, family, friends, surrogacy
agency and surrogate. Be open and honest in your discussions with them. If you need it, do not hesitate to work with a counselor to help you work through the emotional challenges you may face during this evolving time in your life.

5.Don’t overlook your relationship with your surrogate. It’s important to address
expectations of the relationship between the  intended parents and the  surrogate at the start of the journey. Is a phone call once a week sufficient? Do you want to Skype on a regular basis? Is an in-person get-together important? Really think about these things,  as they can play a big part in having a fulfilling experience.

Making assumptions when going into a surrogacy arrangement is not a good idea. It’s best to heed the advice of professionals and work with a full-service surrogacy agency, such as Shared Conception. We hope the tips in today’s post will guide you, resulting in a surrogacy arrangement that has a happy ending!

For most people, covering the costs of surrogacy requires planning and organization. Here are some of Shared Conceptions favorite tips to help make the financial aspect of your surrogacy journey go smoothly:

1.  Share your story. Surrogacy is the ultimate example of people helping people. Being open about your intent to pursue surrogacy can help you gain the support of family and friends. In some cases, family members of intended parents have chipped in to help with expenses. But even if friends and family can’t assist you financially, counting on the emotional support and encouragement of the people who matter to you most can make your journey to parenthood through surrogacy much easier.

2.  Start putting funds aside. Consider setting aside money over time. Most intended parents come to a surrogacy agency after a period of careful thought and research. This is a good time to start saving.

3.  Remember you can influence the overall costs. While the surrogacy journey can be unpredictable, remember that the preferences you express and the choices you make can affect your overall expenses, including the clinic you work with. You can also look into various surrogacy programs to see which is right for you.

4.  Consider your financing options. You may be able to obtain loans from banks or lending agencies to help you cover the costs including the financing institution that Shared Conception has a relationship with. Ask us how.  Also, many intended parents also look into home equity loans as an option to pay back a portion of their expenses over time. Some intended parents even investigate the possibility of secured or unsecured loans from medical financing companies.

5.  Evaluate all of your insurance options. There are a variety of insurance options available to cover the medical costs of surrogacy, so make sure you take time to look into which is right for you. Ask for information about deductibles, enrollment fees, premiums, and out-of-pocket maximums.

The decision to help another person create a family by serving as a gestational surrogate is a generous one and involves complex emotions on all sides. But it also involves medical realities that women considering surrogacy need to know about.

As you work with our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, you’ll certainly learn a great deal more about the medical surrogacy process, but in the meantime, we have compiled a few topics for your information. Keep in mind, particularly when it comes to the medical aspects of surrogacy, there is no 100% “typical” case.

Firstly, the  gestational surrogate mother’s eggs are not used. The eggs, or oocytes, come from either the intended mother or a third-party egg donor. This is why we call it “gestational surrogacy,” not “traditional surrogacy.”

At the fertility center, you’ll most likely be asked to have a vaginal ultrasound that allows the physician to examine your uterus. You may also be asked to have a hysteroscopy — in which a tiny camera painlessly examines your uterus — or other procedure to determine the general health of your uterus. Routine blood tests will also  be given to rule out the presence of communicable diseases such as AIDS, herpes, and hepatitis. You will be asked to provide an up-to-date pap smear, and might be requested to have a mammogram done.

Timing is crucial in any embryo transfer. As a surrogate, you will be given several medications to help prepare your uterus to receive the embryo. These medications may include standard birth control pills (at the beginning of your menstrual cycle). You will be started on estrogen at about the time the intended mother or the egg donor is being induced to ovulate if the embryo transfer cycle is a coordinated or “fresh,” one. Then, just before her eggs are harvested, you will begin another hormone, progesterone, to further prepare for implantation. Normally, you will be required to continue to take hormones, usually by injection, even if the embryo transfer is what we call a “frozen” cycle, where the embryos have already been created and are frozen for future use by the intended parents. Remember, this is meant to be general guidance here, and is not meant in any way to be giving medical advice or instruction.

In Vitro Fertilization, or IVF, is handled by a certified fertility center. Hormones are given to the intended mother or the egg donor to induce ovulation, and her eggs are harvested via aspiration guided by vaginal ultrasound. Then, from 50,000 to one million sperm are mixed with the eggs and incubated, so that fertilization can occur. When the timing is right, the resulting embryos are transferred into your uterus, as the gestational surrogate. Fertility centers vary somewhat in terms of the tests they require and the procedures they employ — this is all simply general background information, not specific medical advice or recommendations.

Transferring the embryos to the surrogate.
When transferring the embryos to the surrogate, the physician carefully flushes the embryos in the liquid medium in which they have been growing through your cervix and into your uterus. Sometimes, the doctor will use ultrasound to help with placement of embryos, and afterward you may be asked to remain lying-down for a period of time.

Approximately two weeks after the embryo has been transferred to the surrogate’s uterus, a simple blood test will be performed to confirm pregnancy  at which point both estrogen and progesterone medication may be continued. (In fact, medication will likely have continued from the time of embryo transfer, and may still continue even after positive blood test, until confirmation of pregnancy by ultrasound).

Here at Shared Conception, we have close relationships with numerous OB/GYNs and reproductive endocrinologists. While the intended parent may choose the reproductive endocrinologist, you will be able to choose your own OB, particularly if you already have one that you have a relationship with. The same applies to the hospital selected for delivery. What is  important is that a medically sound pregnancy occurs and that we ensure a good outcome both for you, the surrogate, and the intended parents. Working together, with the best medical care and technology, Shared Conception will help achieve these goals. Give us a call!

Many gestational surrogates find the experience so rewarding that they are willing to do it more than once. If age and health conditions permit, a second surrogacy can be a wonderful experience. In some cases, the surrogate even acts as a surrogate for the same intended parents, helping them to expand their family.

As surrogates have their own families to take care of, it would be beneficial to evaluate the impact of another pregnancy on your partner and children. Shared Conception does everything it can to make the experience for surrogates and intended parents go as smoothly as possibly, and promises the same caring and attentive treatment the second time around.

Sometimes, the intended parents might choose another surrogate for a second child. The surrogate-intended parent relationship is a strong one, where many surrogates remain close to the intended parents and their families after. While it can feel a little disappointing if the intended parents choose another surrogate, do not forget that you have just given them the gift of life and they’re extremely thankful.

It is good to manage expectations while also keeping lines of communication open. Shared Conception has found that the best surrogacy relationships have trust, communication, appropriate boundaries and flexibility. Because the surrogacy process lasts over a year, it is important to remain flexible in your expectations and understanding of your needs, as well as those of the intended parents during this journey.

As in any relationship, it is healthy to maintain boundaries. The main goal of the surrogacy relationship is to help the intended parents’ family. You may indeed become friends or even a part of the family, developing a wonderful relationship over time! Shared Conception recommendation: take it slow, be warm and authentic and have good boundaries.

You are starting a wonderful journey together—again. Enjoy!

Some of our best surrogates come to us as strong willed single women. These women are single mothers and have a steadfast desire to help others create a family. They are independent, hardworking, and immensely appreciative of family bonds.

A single surrogate is defined as one who is not currently living with or sexually active with any other adult. Those involved in dating situations or other sexually active relationships are still considered “partnered” surrogates even if they are unmarried.

The screening process for a single surrogate differs from that of a partnered surrogate. A single surrogate will attend both screening and match meeting on her own. Shared Conception will contact the person she identifies as her primary support to ensure that they’re able to provide the support the surrogate will need.

We also understand that life happens. While you may be single during your screening and the early stages of your journey, it is entirely possible that you’ll meet someone during your journey.

Dating is allowed during the course of your journey, but you will want to make certain that suitors understand just how important your journey is to you, and that this journey could have implications on your developing relationship.

Shared Conception is happy to talk with you about any potential relationships and ways to discuss your situation with a potential love interest.

Many of our single surrogates tell us that, in certain ways, going the journey alone can feel freeing. Without having a significant other around the house, they tell us they feel able to take time off of housework to just enjoy the pregnancy.

If you’re a single woman considering surrogacy we understand that you may have a great deal of questions. Shared Conception is able to help you navigate this incredible decision and help answer any additional questions you may have. Call us.