The reasons a woman chooses to become a surrogate can be endless. Chances are, if you’re considering making this life changing choice, you’ve already compiled a list of reasons and benefits. Even so, here are nine more benefits to consider; one for each month you’ll be carrying a child.

1. Giving Life. Surrogates are given the chance to give a gift that no one else can. Intended parents turn to surrogacy because they need help conceiving a child. You’ll be chosen to help that couple become a family. You’re the one person who can turn an only child into a brother or a sister. It’s a selfless gift unlike any other, and the sense of accomplishment is a benefit all its own.

2. Financial. Yes, you get paid. While our surrogates agree that financial compensation is not the only reason they choose to become a surrogate, it is indeed a benefit worthy of consideration. Many women use the compensation to put a down payment on a new house, buy a new car, send themselves back to school, or pay off college loans. Others use the funds as the nest egg that allows them to open their own business or even stop working in order to stay at home with their own children.

3. One More Time. Our surrogates tell us they love being pregnant. If you’re like them, you had uncomplicated pregnancies and loved every minute. Even so, your own family might be complete. Becoming a surrogate gives you the benefit of being pregnant one more time.

4. Be a Role Model. Choosing to be a surrogate makes you a stand out figure, not only in your home but also in your community. Earning the respect of your own children and of your peers is indeed a benefit.

5. Global Perspective. Becoming a surrogate will open eyes, both your own and those of people around you. Choosing to walk this road will give you the benefit of perspective. The ability to see life from walks of life very different to your own can be humbling and empowering at the same time.

6. Self Confidence. On delivery day, in the 12th hour, when you hurt and when you just want to go to sleep, something amazing happens. You give birth to a child with no relation to you. You make a family. You change the world. In this moment, your self-confidence soars to heights you never knew possible. You swell with pride and receive a benefit you cannot comprehend until you’ve lived it.

7. A Different Kind of Family. Many intended parents seek to have an emotional bond with their surrogate. Quite a few surrogates report having long lasting bonds with the families they help create. Think of it as an extended family that you get to choose.

8. Health Care. From the moment you become a surrogate you receive access to healthcare. Either through a surrogacy specific plan or your own current health care plan, you will have access to pregnancy related health care at no cost to you.

9. Community. Becoming a Shared Conception surrogate gives you a VIP pass to join the ranks of many other like-minded women. We are a family-oriented and community-minded surrogacy agency.

Whatever reasons you have that have brought you to consider becoming a surrogate, know that you’re already an extraordinary woman. We look forward to having you complete our online initial application and speaking with you about the many tangible and intangible benefits of choosing to become a surrogate. Shared Conception looks forward to hearing from you this new year! Make it an unforgettable 2016!

Would you carry a stranger’s baby? How about your sister’s? Over the last few years, surrogacy has entered our pop culture zeitgeist with celebrities using surrogates to complete their families. But surrogacy remains one of the least talked about tools in the fight against infertility. Why do surrogates do what they do? What do they get out of it? And how hard is it to give a child to its parents after having it in your womb for 9 months? On Christmas Day, here are three women’s stories about their experience with surrogacy. Happy holidays from Shared Conception!
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The hardest part was shouldering the burden of infertility.” – Kymberli Barney, 33, Hinesville, Georgia, married with girl/boy twins, 10, an 8-year-old boy and a 4-year-old daughter

“My husband and I initially had trouble conceiving. Once the problem was figured out I got pregnant easily – and surrogacy was a way of paying it forward because as far as infertility we got off easy. Even as a child, I was fascinated by childbirth and thought about being an obstetrician. I always wanted to be pregnant, and it hurt when it didn’t come easily for me.

When I delivered the baby by surrogate, that was magical. But it wasn’t just one moment. There was the first time my intended mom put her hand on my belly and felt her son move and that look in her eyes. And then the moment of the delivery, when the intended father laid eyes on his son for the first time. I felt like I had really done something that mattered for someone else.”
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“Some people do it for the money…but for me it’s also about the activism.” – Kelly Rummelhart, 36, Gridley, California, married, 9-year-old girl and 7 and 4-year-old boys

I remember in high school I had a friend that was gay and I wondered how he would have a baby. At the same time, a straight couple on “Days of Our Lives” had a baby by surrogate. I thought that was amazing, and I wanted to do that for someone. Then once I had my own kids, I thought how happy I was having my kids and couldn’t imagine what it would be like for someone who couldn’t have babies.

I also knew I wanted to work with a gay couple. Some people do it for the money, or they always wanted to do it, but for me it’s also about the activism. I don’t have a million dollars to donate to specific causes, but I do have a working uterus. I’ve delivered two sets of twins for two gay couples. When others have found out that my couples were gay they haven’t really said anything to my face, but I’m sure there is talk behind my back.

[My first couple] lived only three hours away and wanted me to be a part of their lives, so we see the girls every 8-12 weeks. I remember when I was in the delivery room the first time, and the twins met their Grandma, and she was bawling and hugging me … I was like omigosh. It is so utterly amazing and life altering. It is like being on a drug. Who wouldn’t want to do that again? When my surrogacy agency asked me if I would do this again I said yes. I asked my husband and he said do whatever you want to do. You need [your family’s] support.

The way that I explain it to people is for nine months I’m babysitting. I wouldn’t rub my baby and talk to it the same way. So with my second couple, who didn’t live as close, I would play belly buds and put them on my belly. I had the guys record their favorite songs and play it for their babies. For me, I don’t think there are any worst parts. I had really easy pregnancies!”
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“Giving something is as important as receiving something.” – Natasha Skinner, 37, Annapolis, Maryland, married, 14-year-old son and 11-, 8-, 5- and 2-year-old daughters

I was a surrogate for my sister-in-law, my husband’s brother’s wife. She has cystic fibrosis so she could not carry a child, but they could genetically create a healthy baby with her egg and his sperm.

It was important for my husband that we had family support, especially if I wasn’t feeling well. We already had five kids so if that meant making a meal or driving a kid somewhere, other family members stepped in. My mother-in-law helped tremendously. And my sister-in-law’s family helped, mostly by providing meals or by watching the kids when I went to the grocery store to get food.

The hardest part was the shots. Nobody ever really talks about that. That was a daily thing, twice a day, and they were painful. Also, just not feeling great was hard. With my own pregnancies I felt fine after 13 weeks, but for this one, it was 19 weeks. However, I would do it again if I were younger. But I probably wouldn’t do it for someone who wasn’t a family member. Fortunately for me, it’s my nephew – I can see him and I know how he is doing.

Really the best part was at the end when they received their baby, just to see the joy and happiness. When John and Kelly came in, I thought she was going to faint. You could just see that they were elated. It was very special, and it absolutely brought us closer. Giving something is as important as receiving something.”

 

Telling your boss that you’re pregnant can be stressful. When the baby you’ll be carrying isn’t your own, telling the boss your big news can seem overwhelming. Depending on your relationship with your boss and the workplace atmosphere, you’ll first need to decide if you’re an early sharer or a late sharer.

If you have an open relationship with your boss and you don’t feel as though the news would be ill received or put you in jeopardy, then sharing news of your surrogacy hopes early may be beneficial. Early sharing inspires open communications and trust while allowing you to be honest with your boss over the upcoming absences you’ll be taking for the transfer and monitoring appointments. Your boss will also be clued in to any tiredness or moodiness that tends to come with early pregnancy.

Many women do not feel comfortable sharing their goals until much later in the process. Some wait until a positive pregnancy test and others wait until the end of the first trimester. Delayed sharing allows you to keep their secret a bit longer in the sad possibility of an early miscarriage. Some women also feel as though their bosses would not authorize time away from work for these important medical procedures. If this is your situation, feel confident knowing you are not required to tell your boss why you’re missing work for medically related absences.

Whenever you choose to tell your boss about your surrogate pregnancy, it is probably best to schedule a time for the conversation in advance. A good call would be a time when this can be a one on one discussion without many distractions. A lunch break or other time when you’re off the clock is probably best.

Be sure to ensure your boss of any intentions you have for time off following the birth and, if you intend to return to work following the birth, ensuring your boss of this intention can help create calm. Finally, ask if he/she has any questions. Giving your boss the opportunity to ask questions about the process and what it means to your job performance is important. Call us at Shared Conception, we are effective, efficient and promise to share lots of successful tips and advice!

Becoming pregnant is a big deal. When pregnancy is achieved through surrogacy it can be an even bigger deal. Despite your unique conception story, you now get to make the first tough decision of the pregnancy; when to tell your friends that someone else is carrying your child! Here’s a look at when many intended parents choose to share their good news.

Early Reporters
Some intended parents feel that sharing the news of a positive pregnancy test early on allows friends and family to share in that initial excitement that they’re experiencing. It can be hard to keep such happy news a secret, especially when the road to pregnancy for most parents via surrogacy has been such a long one. Sharing your news early also entitles you to support early on and perhaps even a bit of empathy over those new emotions and stresses that may be taking a toll on your life already.

Close of the First Trimester
Another common time to share news is at the close of the first trimester. Many intended parents wait until the 12th week of pregnancy as the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically from this point on. Parents in this category generally feel as though withholding the news of a pregnancy until it appears to be very viable enables them a safety net in the unfortunate event of a first trimester miscarriage. Additionally, many parents to be wait until late first trimester genetic tests have been done to share their news. This option allows for some time to keep the news just between yourself and sharing your news with friends and family.

Late Bloomers
Finally, some parents choose to wait to share the news of their pregnancy until late in the third trimester, or even until after the birth. This choice is generally made by parents who are not wanting to face criticism or unsolicited advice during the pregnancy process. A late reveal is an option uniquely available to parents of surrogacy, as a third trimester belly is very hard to hide!

What is important to remember is that there is no singular “right” time for sharing your big news. The right time for one parent may not be ideal at all for another. This announcement is just the first of many new decisions that you’ll need to make from the heart. Let Shared Conception play an integral role in building your family.

The confirmation of a failed embryo transfer can feel devastating. After weeks, sometimes months, of contracts, medications, and monitoring, a negative pregnancy test result often leaves both intended parents and surrogates feeling confused, angry and even a bit hopeless. The good news is that a negative pregnancy test now does NOT mean there won’t be a positive test in your future. While we often won’t have an exact reason as to why your transfer failed, here’s a look at a few common culprits.

Egg and Embryo Quality
Sometimes eggs and embryos that look great on transfer day fail to divide and multiply properly once inside the surrogate’s uterus. Most IVF doctors use an Embryo grading system based on factors such as symmetrical cell structure, large inner cell mass, and evidence of as few fractions as possible in the cells to determine the quality of the embryo. However, even embryos with a high grading may fail to result in a positive pregnancy test. Occasionally genetic defects in the developing embryo are also believed to play a part in a failed transfer.

Sperm Quality
Occasionally a sperm head can contain abnormal DNA. If the sperm used to fertilize the egg does not have competent DNA, the embryo may fail to divide properly leading to a negative pregnancy result. Factors known to have an impact on sperm quality include exposure to chemicals and tobacco use.

The Uterine Lining
A thin endometrium (uterine) lining is a leading cause for failed transfer in all IVF transfers. The surrogate will be monitored closely in the weeks preceding transfer in order to ensure that her lining is thickening nicely. In most cases medication protocol can be altered to try and thicken the lining. If an optimum lining cannot be reached the transfer may be cancelled, or potentially unsuccessful if completed.

In most cases the exact cause for a failed transfer will remain unclear. However, the success rates of second transfers are generally much higher than those of first transfers. Your doctor will work with you and your surrogate to make the changes that are most likely to result in a positive pregnancy on your next cycle. Call us here at Shared Conception, we are adept in handling this phase in the pursuit of building your family.

While some parents will openly seek and try to achieve a multiple pregnancy, the news that your surrogate has been confirmed with more than one fetus can come as a surprise. In the rare instance that your surrogate becomes pregnant with triplets or other high order multiples the news can be immensely overwhelming. Whether achieved intentionally or not, the news of a multiple pregnancy can be equal parts exciting and terrifying.

Typically when a multiple pregnancy is confirmed, Shared Conception will reach out to both you and your surrogate to offer educational and emotional support. Keep in mind that she is likely dealing with many emotions of her own centering around the realization that her body is carrying multiple fetuses and how that will impact her life and that of her family.

From time to time it may be important to schedule a consultation with a high risk pregnancy physician. Our surrogacy agency is happy to refer you to someone for this consultation. This person will be able to help you sort through the potential risks of continuing a multiple pregnancy and whether or not a reduction is something you should consider.

In the event that a reduction is needed or desired, Shared Conception will walk you through what will happen and when. Our agencywill also be responsible for speaking with your surrogate about the procedure and ensuring that she has everything she needs in order to navigate the weeks ahead.

Shared Conception understands the wide range of emotions that come with that first ultrasound and are always ready to help you. Our surrogacy agency  has a wealth of information and support is available to you at all times.

The options of starting a family through surrogacy are peaking. Demand and competition are driving the clinical costs down, and it’s more affordable for couples who want their own biological child or who want to raise a newborn through the gift of surrogacy and egg donation.

The giver of the gift of surrogacy and the people who are accepting it have needs and expectations of how the relationship should develop. If a comprehensive plan hasn’t been made, then complications can arise.

Let’s start by giving a hypothetical situation.  Mr. and Mrs. Smith need the help of a surrogate.  They accept the offer from a friend, Mary.   They feel comfortable with this friendship and trust that this woman will take care of herself during the pregnancy.  Mary asks for a certain amount of money to cover costs during pregnancy, and the Smiths agree.  In the back of their mind, Mary is being “paid” to carry their baby.

Mary gets pregnant via in vitro fertilization (IVF) and is now carrying twins for the Smiths.  The Smiths call her every day to see how she is. They ask if they can do anything. They want to attend all the appointments.  They ask the OB if Mary’s working, eating, sleeping and sexual activities are OK for their babies.

Mary feels overwhelmed and micromanaged.  After all, she has given birth before, and she knows what she is doing.  Resentment sets in. Soon she is avoiding phone calls and gritting her teeth through appointments, and her husband is wondering what in the world they got themselves into!  The Smiths feel her pulling away and become worried and start to mistrust her actions.  They have a right to ask these questions.  After all, they are “paying” her, and she is carrying their children.  The rest of the pregnancy is filled with stress on both sides, as Mary now can’t wait to give birth and get these people off her back.

The babies are born healthy and strong, and the Smiths take them home.  Now Mary hardly EVER hears from them. It may be months before she even sees them, and they used to be close friends.  She feels used and left behind, forgetting how she felt during the pregnancy.  Regret sets in.

As for the Smiths, they are coping with two new lives!  They are not getting the sleep they used to and bills from the surrogacy and new babies are piling up.  Their lives have been turned upside down, and they can barely get time alone with each other let alone make calls to Mary.

Discussing Expectations Can you see what happened?  No one really discussed expectations. The before, during and after pregnancy relationship needs were not met, and therefore, a bad taste has been left behind where the beauty of families working together to bring a much-wanted child into the world should have been.

Before anyone makes the choice of surrogacy, certain aspects need to be thoroughly thought out and discussed. Here is a short list:

*     Should a family member be asked to be a surrogate?
*     Would a friend be a good choice? (If the answer is yes in either of these categories, then there is a separate         list of concerns to think about.)
*     What race, religion and marital status would you like a surrogate to be?
*    What is the working status preference of a surrogate?
*     What do you envision your role in the pregnancy?
*     What are your expectations as to the amount of contact with the surrogate during and after the pregnancy?
*     What are the financial expectations, and how will that be handled?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg, but they open up a dialog and can make a huge difference in a surrogate relationship.

Having someone to mediate is also helpful.  A successful surrogate arrangement can be done independently, but having a third party assist you with relationship management can be invaluable.  Having a third party to handle the escrow account can be a great relief on both the intended parents and surrogate.  Mixing the topics of money and babies is a sticky situation at best and should be avoided – if possible – in order to concentrate on the pregnancy and the surrogacy relationship.  A well-managed escrow account can also make all the difference.

Contact Shared Conception for information on having someone assist you in the surrogacy process. We are happy to help.

If you are a woman who wants to be a gestational carrier or traditional surrogate independently, without the help of an agency, then you need to really consider what you are getting yourself into.

Surrogacy is a life changing endeavor and as great as it sounds in theory, in practice it’s a huge undertaking. Looking into ‘independent’ surrogacy situations is most common among those who are finding it difficult to raise the full amount of funds needed and therefore will consider cutting corners. Women who are compelled to help couples and individuals sometimes find themselves compromising their beliefs out of the goodness of their hearts. Below are 14 common mistakes to avoid. Its so important to be true to own ideals…that is one of the best gifts you can give to your Intended Parent(s) and to yourself!

Giving out personal information, especially before a contract is signed, such as social security numbers and release of medical information to anyone but the attorney, psychologist or clinic.

Not having a face to face meeting before any contracts are signed.

Not having your own legal representation when reviewing your surrogacy contract.

Being ‘talked into’ agreeing to issues that are fundamentally against your personal ethics/religion or life style i.e. abortion, selective reduction, working with IP’s that you don’t feel comfortable with, etc.

Not insisting that all compensation, per the contract, be deposited into an escrow account before the first transfer.

Agreeing to at home inseminations (IUI)

Going without term Life Insurance of at least $250,000 (or any insurance policy for that matter).

Cutting out benefits such as lost wages, maternity clothing allowance, c-section reimbursements and child care, etc. because you don’t think you will ever need them.

Thinking that it’s OK to use federal or state funded medical insurance for a surrogate pregnancy.

Thinking that the surrogacy process will be fast and easy.

Excerpts from Sharon Lamothe

Nausea, or morning sickness, in pregnancy is incredibly common, and is generally a good sign that the pregnancy is healthy. However, this fact does little to help ease the discomfort throughout the day, or when you, the surrogate, is bent over the toilet! With surrogacy, there are certain factors that can increase the intensity and duration of the nausea, such as:

Medications – While the exact reason behind nausea during pregnancy is not known, many believe it has to do with increasing hormone levels. Since surrogates use hormones, such as estrogen and progesterone, to help create an environment ideal for a pregnancy to occur, this can also increase the chances they’ll have nausea. Since surrogates generally take these medication at least until 10-12 weeks (average) of pregnancy, this means they might have nausea earlier, and longer, than during one of their own pregnancies.

Multiples – Anytime a woman undergoes IVF procedures, there is a higher chance for multiples to occur. Twin, triplet, and higher order multiple pregnancies usually cause women to experience higher levels of nausea, and for a longer period of time. Of course, the usual (potential) causes for nausea also apply during a surrogate pregnancy, and can include: low blood sugar, emotional stress and/or fatigue, traveling, and some foods. While there is no sure-fire way to prevent nausea during pregnancy, there are a few ways to naturally mitigate the effects. What may work for one woman may not work for another, so a bit of trial and error is sometimes needed to find what will help.

Here are a few of our tried and true all natural nausea remedies:

Ginger Products – These have proven effective against morning sickness, and generally include: ginger ale, ginger candy, ginger tea, or even simply inhaling the scent of fresh ginger.

Protein and Complex Carbs – Peanut butter on apple slices, or celery sticks; nuts (unsalted); cheese; crackers; milk; cottage cheese; and yogurt.

Snack – Eat every 1-2 hours throughout the day, small portions, and drink plenty of fluids between meals. Also, have a small snack at bedtime, and if you get up to go to the bathroom in

Plain, and/or dry foods – Eat some soda crackers before you get out of bed, and allow some time for digestion. Also, try eating white rice, dry toast, broth, saltines, or a plain baked potato inlieu of adding anything richer or creamier to your meal.

Hard Candy – Suck on hard candy, such as Preggie Pops (or a similar brand), ginger candy, ormints. Some people respond better to “hot” items, like the sensation provided by ginger, while others respond better to the “cold”, like with mints.

Vitamin B6 – If you’d rather take a B6 supplement, consult your doctor or midwife beforehand to make sure it’s right for you. However, there are foods rich in B6 that may help ease nausea, and a few are: poultry, sweet potatoes & potatoes (with skin), sunflower seeds, spinach, bananas, avocado, and garbanzo beans/chickpeas.

Acupressure – There are acupressure wristbands that are generally used for motion sickness, but have also been found to help with morning sickness.

Ventilation – Keep rooms well ventilated, or have a small fan nearby for easier breathing. This

can also help reduce common smells in your home or work that contribute to your nausea.

Aromatherapy – Some have found that fresh, citrus scents help, such lemon, lime, or orange,

as well as peppermint, spearmint, or ginger. Essential oils in a diffuser are a great resource

Acupuncture – If you would like to try acupuncture as a method of reducing your nausea,

consult your doctor or midwife beforehand, and look for an acupuncturist who is trained to work

Prenatal Vitamins – Try taking your prenatal vitamins at night, and check with your doctor or midwife about the iron levels in the vitamins you are currently taking. Switching to a vitamin that is lower in iron may help reduce nausea.

Rest – Listen to your body, and get plenty of rest. Some women have the reaction of becoming nauseous if they do not get enough sleep.

Things you can avoid to potentially help with reducing nausea

• Avoid the foods or smells that make you nauseous. At times this is easier said than done, but it can help if you take a route through the mall to avoid the food court, refrain from cooking certain meals, or asking your spouse/partner to avoid a particular cologne or perfume until

• Avoid secondhand smoke. This is good advice for pregnancy in general, and can also help

• Avoid taking medications for morning sickness, unless specifically instructed by your doctor Nothing is working! What should I do? For some, nothing you can change or do, will help with the nausea, and you may want to consult your doctor or midwife if absolutely nothing is yielding results. That being said, sometimes there truly is nothing that can be done, but to remember that for most women. While nausea is certainly not an enjoyable part of pregnancy, for most it will pass with the first trimester, or early into the second. Hopefully something on the list above will help you through these weeks, and congratulations to you and the intend parents on the pregnancy!

Placenta Encapsulation Specialists encapsulate women’s placentas for them so they can consume it after giving birth. When carefully and properly prepared for consumption, the placenta can nourish the postpartum mother just as it did for the baby in your womb. Through training, these specialists prepare and dehydrate the placenta, grind it up and put it in little vitamin like capsules so that mom can then take the capsules and get all the wonderful postpartum benefits.

This method is known as Placentophagy. Encapsulation is a great “middle ground” for those that want to have the healing benefits of consuming their placenta without actually having to eat it outright. You can hire a trained professional to come to your home to do the encapsulation process there or, depending on what state you live in, some will provide the services in their own personal sterile kitchens. When the encapsulation specialist hands you the capsules two days after the birth, you would have no idea there was placenta inside.

Some of the benefits of placenta encapsulation include:
• Faster postpartum recovery
• Less likely to have “baby blues” and can help ease symptoms of postpartum depression
• Increase to your breast milk supply (if you plan pump for your intended parents or donate it)
• Gives you a boost of energy
• Lessens the feeling of fatigue
• Hormonal balancing

Placenta encapsulation and surrogacy
How can you benefit from placenta encapsulation as a surrogate? All of the hormones that are in the placenta are your very own hormones even if the DNA of the baby you are carrying does not match your own. Giving birth is still giving birth, so as a surrogate you still have to go through these natural hormonal fluctuations. Typically, as a surrogate you get to rest more than a woman that also has to care for a newborn baby immediately after giving birth and that certainly does help with your recovery. However, placenta encapsulation can help you bounce back even quicker with a smoother transition back into your pre-pregnancy life.

All of the oxytocin in the encapsulated placenta will help ease any sad feelings and make the emotional transition a bit smoother for her. In addition, many surrogates provide breast milk to the intended parents for a certain amount of time after the birth. In some cases, the surrogate will provide breast milk for a long and extended period of time. When exclusively using a breast pump to express breast milk, it can be difficult to stimulate the breast enough to produce an adequate amount of milk both in a timely manner initially after the birth, as well as, for an extended period of time after that. This is because the breast pump isn’t as effective at stimulating and expressing milk as baby suckling at the breast is.

Typically, when taking the placenta capsules within two days of giving birth your milk supply will not only come in sooner but you will also have a larger supply one your milk comes in. This can make your breast milk pumping relationship with your pump much easier on you. You might even be willing to supply breast milk for a longer period of time because you will be expressing a larger milk quantity for each pumping session.

Accessibility to a Placenta Encapsulation Specialist and the rates for encapsulation services will vary based on where you live.

DISCLAIMER: The information on this page has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The services offered by any Placenta Encapsulation Specialists are not clinical, pharmaceutical, or intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Families who choose to utilize the services on this page take full responsibility of their own health and for researching and using the remedies discussed above.