One of my previous blog posts had to do with my utter contempt of the phrase “rent-a-womb.” You can read the blog here. One surrogate mom, Rachel M. had this response:

“For some of us, myself included, we have to use terms like ‘rent-a-womb’ because it aids in relieving some of the emotional attachment that comes with carrying a baby. Women know, everyone else fails to realize that once a woman becomes pregnant a very heavy emotional bond develops, regardless of whether the child is our own or we are carrying that baby for someone else. For me that bond is lessened, albeit a little, by using such terms as rent-a-womb and a few others that I am sure the writer would take great offense to. Additionally I do not want to see or hold the baby once delivered. I made that mistake with the first that I carried and it was extremely difficult to get past it. It’s a choice that I have made and for me it works.”

Surrogate mothers will emotionally bond with the babies they carry. Some ways they can lessen that bond are as follows:

• Opt not to hold the baby after delivery
• Breastfeeding is a big no-no
• Never refer to the baby(ies) as their own; even to strangers
• Always remember that their being pregnant is a gift to a couple

In the end, all of our surrogates are thrilled to deliver happy healthy babies for the parents who went through such great lengths to facilitate their birth. Intended parents will never forget how these ladies’ kind and selfless act forever changed their lives and their families.

Parents who have struggled with infertility and find themselves with a surplus of embryos, struggle with what do with them.

When parents are going through the process, they usually want enough embryos in case it takes more than one try to get pregnant. They may also want extra embryos for a future sibling project. So when they’ve grown their family to a point they are happy with and find themselves with a surplus, what do they do?

The California mom who implanted all eight of her embryos and delivered all eight babies couldn’t fathom disposing or donating any of her embryos.

Parents have the option of keeping the embryos in storage, donating to an infertile couple or donating to research.

The latest research shows that many couples don’t know what to do and continue to pay storage fees year after year.

Donating to research can pose a problem due to current federal legislation. Also, some parents feel a sense of responsibility for their embryos. They still count them as their children—their offspring, so donating them to research seems cold to them.

Letting another infertile couple adopt their embryos would be a very sweet and unselfish act if the parents can live the knowledge that their biological children are out there in the world somewhere.

There is no easy answer to this question and parents will have to come to their own conclusion. In the meantime, storage facilities continue to host hundreds of thousands of embryos until parents make those difficult decisions.

Are you and your partner storing embryos?

As surrogacy continues to grow in popularity, surrogacy agencies will continue to pop up and that’s when you should heed the buyer beware philosophy.

Just this week, the owner of the surrogacy agency in Modesto, CA was sentenced to federal prison for creating a financial firm where she used the funds from intended parents for personal use and left many families in turmoil.

Then there’s the story of a surrogate mother, Joy Sutkus, who successfully carried a baby to term but has a growing pile of medical bills because the surrogacy agency has not paid the bills. Their response is they’re working on it.

Low cost surrogacy agencies need to be thoroughly investigated. Do your due diligence and ask for referrals and most importantly, trust your gut. If something doesn’t quite feel right, it’s probably not. If the staff seems too occupied to respond to your questions or are not as friendly—search for another agency.

Here are a few things surrogate mothers and intended parents should look for in a reputable surrogate agency:

• A reliable surrogacy agency will be able to refer you to reputable professionals such as lawyers, psychologists and insurance firms and hold your hand throughout the surrogacy process.
• Payment terms and fees are explained and in writing so you have a clear financial picture of what surrogacy truly costs.
• Excellent surrogacy agencies have a lower staff to client ratio that guarantees that clients and surrogates get a personalized service.

At Shared Conception we welcome your questions, have lots of referrals and would love to help you grow your family. We like to think of ourselves as Texas’ best surrogacy agency!

 

If you’re considering surrogacy you’ve probably run across a lot of acronyms. Some are easy to decipher, while others can leave you scratching your head.

So we’ve compiled a list of the most common acronyms you’ll come across during your surrogacy journey.

A

ACA: Anticardiolipin Antibodies
ACTH: Adrenal Corticotropic Hormone
AFP: Alpha-Fetoprotein Test
AI: Artificial Insemination
AP: Attachment Parenting
ART: Assisted Reproductive Technology
ATA: Antithyroid Antibody
AVA: Antiovarian Antibody

B

BB: Bulletin Board
BBT: Basal Body Temperature
BCP: Birth Control Pills
BFN: Big Fat Negative (Negative Pregnancy Test) (Also Bye For Now)
BFP: Big Fat Positive (Positive Pregnancy Test)
BT: Blood Test

C

CB: Cycle Buddy (Women on the Same Menstrual Cycle)
CBE: ClearBlueEasy
CCCT: Clomiphene Citrate Challenge (Clomid Challenge)
CD: Cycle Day (Day of Menstrual Cycle; The First Day of A Period Is Day 1)
CF: Cervical Fluid
CM: Cervical Mucus
CNM: Certified Nurse Midwife
CP: Cervical position
CVS: Chorionic Villus Sampling

D

D&C: Dilation and Curretage (Surgical Procedure After Miscarriage)
D&E: Dilation and Evacuation (Surgical Procedure After Miscarriage)
DA: Daycare
DE: Donor Egg
DPO: Day Past Ovulation
DPR: Days Past Retrieval
DP3DT: Days Post 3-Day Transfer
DP5DT: Days Post 5-Day Transfer
DPT: Days Post Transfer

E

E2: Estradiol
ED: Egg Donor/Donation
EDD: Estimated Delivery/Due Date
EFR/FRER/FRE: First Response Early Results (Pregnancy Test)
EPT: Early Pregnancy Test
EWCM: Egg White Cervical Mucus

F

FAM: Family Awareness Method (For Pinpointing Ovulation)
FC: Fingers Crossed
FIF: Former Intended Father
FIM: Former Intended Mother
FIP: Former Intended Parent

G

GS: Gestational Surrogacy
GTC: Going to Conceive
GTT: Glucose Tolerance Test

H

H&H9: Happy and Healthy 9 Months/Pregnancy Congratulations
HCG: Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HGB: Hemoglobin
HPT: Home Pregnancy Test
HSC: Hysteroscopy
HSG: Hysterosalpingogram
Hx: History

I

ICI: Intra-cervical Insemination
ICSI: Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection
IF: Infertility/Intended Father
IM: Intended Mother
Insems: Artificial Insemination
IP: Intended Parent
ITI: Intratubal Insemination
ISA: Independent Surrogacy Arrangement
IUI: Intrauterine Insemination
IVF: In Vitro fertilization

L

LAP: Laparoscopy
L&D: Labor and Delivery
LMP: Last Menstrual Period
LOK: Lots of Kids
LP: Luteal Phase
LPD: Luteal Phase Defect

M

MAT LV: Maternity Leave
MC or M/C: Miscarriage
MFI: Male Factor Infertility
MO: Months old
MS: Morning Sickness
MW: Midwife

N

NFP: Natural Family planning
NP: Nurse Practitioner
NST: Non-Stress Test

O

O: Ovulation
O’ing: Ovulating
OB: Obstetrician
OB/GYN: Obstetrician/Gynecologist
OLV: Open Legs Vibe (To See Gender During Ultrasound)
OPK: Ovulation Predictor Kits
OPT: Ovulation Predictor Test
OTC: Over the Counter

P

PED: Pediatrician
PG: Pregnant
PI: Primary Infertility
PID: Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
PIF: Potential Intended Father
PIM: Potential Intended Mother
PIP: Potential Intended Parent
PMS: Premenstrual Syndrome
POAS: Pee On A Stick (Use a Home Pregnancy Test)
PPD: Postpartum Depression
PROM: Premature Rupture of the Membranes
PTL: Preterm Labor

R

RBC: Red Blood Cell
RE: Reproductive Endocrinologist
RPL: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
RSA: Recurrent Spontaneous Abortion
RUM?: Are You Married?
RUS?: Are You Single?

S

SAHD: Stay At Home Dad
SAHM: Stay At Home Mom
SAHP: Stay At Home Parent
SAHW: Stay At Home Wife
SD: Sperm Donor
SHOW: Soft High Open Wet (Condition of Cervix During Ovulation)
SI: Secondary Infertility
SO: Significant Other
STD: Sexually Transmitted Disease
SW: Social Worker

T

TOK: Tons of Kids
TS: Traditional Surrogacy
TTC: Trying to Conceive
Tx: Treatment

U

US: Ultrasound
UTI: Urinary Tract Infection

W

WAH: Work At Home
WAHD: Work At Home Dad
WAHM: Work At Home Mom
WAHP: Work At Home Parent
WBC: White Blood Cells
WD: Working Dad
WOHD: Working Out of Home Dad
WOHM: Working Out of Home Mom

X

X-AFP: Expanded Alpha-Protein Test

Source: http://www.therainbowbabies.com/MessageBoardAcronyms.html

 

Numerous studies have shown that breast milk is best for babies.

But if you’re an intended mother using a surrogate you may be wondering if your baby will be able to benefit from “mother’s milk.”

The answer is yes.

Moms, who had trouble conceiving, may have experienced a hormonal problem that could potentially limit their milk-making ability. The good news is that even if you struggled with infertility, most intended mothers can make some milk and enjoy this bonding moment.

There are a couple of ways your baby can benefit from breast milk and enjoy this special bond.
Put the baby to breast as soon as possible. Women in traditional cultures have been able to lactate simply by putting the baby to the breast frequently. A baby’s sucking does stimulate milk production but the “psychological effect of a baby’s smell, sight and sounds triggers additional oxytocin releases that a pump cannot.”

Use breast pumps and manual nipple massage to stimulate lactation. A month or so before your baby’s arrival, manually massage your nipples and breasts for ten minutes eight-to-ten times per day for two weeks. After two weeks of manual massage, begin double pumping with a hospital grade pump for 10-to-15 minutes, eight-to-ten times a day. You may find you need to apply a bit of breastfeeding-grade lanolin to your nipples or even apply olive oil to the funnel before pumping.

Build milk supply through the use of hormones. Your doctor can prescribe birth control pills that contain estrogen and progesterone “for a specific amount of time in order to stimulate the growth of more milk-making breast tissue.” Intended mothers who have a history of blood clotting, or have heart or severe blood pressure issues aren’t good candidates for hormone use.

If you’re unable to breast feed but still want your baby to benefit from mother’s milk, ask your surrogate if she’s willing to pump milk for a specified time or even search out human milk donations. Sometimes you can do all of the above and still not produce breast milk and that’s okay.

No matter which route you choose, it’s a win-win for your baby.

Source: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/04/induced-lactation.html

Deborah L. Cohen shares the story of Maragret DiSantis in an article she wrote on the rising number of surrogacy births despite the costs.

DiSantis always wanted to be a mother but had no idea she would have to sell her house, drop out of business school and move back in with her parents to achieve her dreams of motherhood.

Surrogacy costs are always in addition to any IVF treatments or egg retrieval or donor costs.

Cohen says that intended parents are primarily upscale professionals with more than enough discretionary funds. Even then, the costs are still relatively high and many IPs are left to develop creative self-funding methods or take out loans. DiSantis had a six-figure salary and still found it necessary sacrifice financially in order to fulfill her desire to become a parent.

Typical surrogacy costs at Shared Conception runs about $70,000 to $125,000 here in Texas. Costs include agency fees, the surrogate’s medical screening, psychological evaluations, insurance costs, attorney fees to draft the legal documents and of course the surrogate’s compensation and other expenses.

Many travel to Texas from other states because surrogacy is more affordable than similar services offered on the East and West coasts. It also helps that Texas is considered a very surrogate friendly state.

DiSantis’ is undeterred by her unusually high surrogacy fees and financial sacrifices due to a few miscarriages; she said she would gladly do it all over again.

Choosing to grow your family through surrogacy is not only an emotional decision; it’s also a financial one. We can help you weigh through all of your options and develop a solution that’s right for your family.

 

It’s been reported that military wives currently account for 20 percent of all surrogate births each year.

In a sense, while her husband is serving our country, she is serving stateside helping an intended family do what seemed to be impossible—start a family.

Experts and analysis argue the reason for such high numbers within this group and the fight can get quite bitter.

But here’s what we want military wives contemplating surrogacy to consider.

Is your state surrogate friendly? There are hostile and friendly surrogate states and we wrote a blog post that identifies them. You can look up your state here. It’s important to know your state’s laws regarding surrogacy because this can impact whether you can even enter into a surrogacy contract.

Have you considered insurance issues? Many intended parents and agencies do not want to use Tricare as the surrogates insurance. Do your research on this.

What if the unthinkable happens? Our surrogates and intended parents aren’t thrilled when we have to have the discussion on planning for worse case scenarios. We insist that our families have the hard discussions upfront so everyone is clear and there are no surprises once the process starts. Ask yourself what you are willing and not willing to do if there’s something wrong the fetus. Know the answer upfront. Your answer doesn’t preclude you from being a surrogate; it just helps when matching you with an intended family.

Work with a credible agency. There have been some horrific stories in the news lately on unethical agencies and their owners. Do your homework. Ask credible resources like your doctor and always trust your gut. We invite prospective surrogate mothers to interview us thoroughly! Talk to other surrogate mothers that have trusted us to connect them and even talk to former intended parents!

We certainly understand some of the financial strain some of our military families experience. We can’t deny that surrogacy is attractive for financial reasons and helps alleviate some of the burden. However, we don’t want to see these families—families already dedicated to service—taken advantage of.

We pride ourselves on providing excellent care and service to our surrogate mothers and extend that same care to those who have spouses serving in our military.

 

Photo credit: © Billyfoto | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

Babies being born through surrogacy are on the rise!

Health insurance companies excluding surrogacy from members are also on the rise.

Seems more and more insurance companies are not willing to be pay for maternity care if the member is a carrier for another couple; especially since the surrogate mother is getting paid for her service. These exclusions could increase as the U.S. Affordable Care Act is enacted and more people are included.

The State of Wisconsin however, made it illegal for insurance companies to refuse coverage for a surrogacy pregnancy.

So if you don’t happen to live in Wisconsin, surrogate mothers and intended parents often times have to buy additional health insurance.

The problem is that in Texas, there are no single insurance plans that include maternity costs. Only group policies such as employer plans offer maternity care.

Currently, if a surrogate has no insurance, then the intended parents pay cash for the pregnancy and delivery expenses but take out a single insurance plan to cover any complications that may arise. Even though it doesn’t cover the obstetrician or hospital, it will cover complications. Should complications occur, prices can quickly escalate and become astronomical, so it pays to protect yourself.

Again, the scenario above is if the surrogate has NO insurance. If she has insurance and there is a surrogacy exclusion, it becomes even more complicated as more and more insurance companies are not giving coverage if the insured has health coverage already. Call our office for more information on this scenario.

With more insurance companies exclude surrogacy, it pays to use an agency that will not only match IPs and surrogate mothers but also takes insurance matters seriously.

If more states follow Wisconsin’s lead (we hope they do) then this is one last expense for IPs and that money can use that money towards diapers or a college fund!

 

 Photo by Hollywood Branded

 

The rumors simply won’t die.

When you’re a big superstar like Beyonce and actress Holly Madison, for better or for worse rumors and lack of privacy comes with the territory.

Beyonce’s baby bump came into question during an interview. Some say something just didn’t look right about her bump at the time. Some think Beyonce used a surrogate to have her baby Blue Ivy.

Another celebrity under the microscope is Holly Madison. She got back into shape so fast after the birth of her baby that rumors began to circulate about whether she carried her baby at all or used a surrogate.

This whole did she or didn’t she, puts surrogacy in a negative light…again.

Having a baby via a surrogate isn’t a bad thing.

And to suggest that these women used a surrogate for vanity’s sake… Well, that’s just cruel; not only to the women whom the insult is hurled but also to the industry, the families who use surrogacy and the mothers who give of themselves to help others. Surrogacy isn’t paying someone to do the “dirty work” of having a baby.

There is nothing wrong with a woman hiring a surrogate mother to bear her children if she can’t have them on her own. And there are so many women who want to experience pregnancy and childbirth. They’re usually heartbroken when they find out they can’t bear children of their own.

I wish these rumors would stop; for Beyonce and Holly’s sake certainly, and also for the families and surrogate mothers who rely on this loving service to grow their families.

We at Shared Conception know surrogacy is a wonderful way to grow your family! To us there’s nothing more rewarding than connecting intended parents and the right surrogate mother! The fruit of our labor is cute and cuddly and downright adorable.

Lots of celebrities are growing their families through surrogacy and here are a few of our favorites!

 

Giuliana Rancic – Giuliana and her hubby Bill found a surrogate to carry their baby. Their first child, a boy named Edward Duke, arrived in late August 2012.

Nicole Kidman – Bet you didn’t know she used a surrogate! Yep, she and husband Keith Urban had a baby girl through gestational surrogacy.

Sarah Jessica Parker – She and hubby Matthew Broderick had twins via a surrogate!

Neil Patrick – Doogie Howser star and his partner David Burtka grew their family via surrogacy. The two are proud papas of their fraternal twins Gideon and Harper.

Angela Bassett – Waiting to Exhale actress, Angela Bassett and hubby Courtney B. Vance tried for seven years to start a family and finally decided on surrogacy. They are the proud parents of fraternal twins of Slater and Brownyn.

Surrogacy isn’t just for rock stars and famous actors and actresses, regular people living regular lives also use surrogates everyday! If you’re one of them, tell us your story and maybe we’ll feature you in one of our blog posts!