Crystal Kelley is an unemployed single mom who became a surrogate mother. One to help another family and two she needed the income. She became a surrogate mother to intended parents in Hartford, Connecticut and around week 21 is where this surrogacy story turns into a nightmare.

Test results showed that the baby had a cleft lip and palette, a brain cyst and some heart issues. The intended parents not wanting the child to suffer wanted to terminate the pregnancy but Kelley refused. She even refused the $10,000 the couple offered only to counter later that she would terminate the pregnancy for $15,000. Later, Kelley moved to Michigan where surrogacy agreements are not recognized and became the baby’s legal mother.

Kelley found a family that would adopt the baby with its many health issues.

For the record, I do not in any way condone Ms. Kelley’s actions. According to her contract, she agreed to “abortion in case of severe fetus abnormality.” She was wrong to breech that contract.

In my meetings with surrogate mothers and intended parents, they hate it when I bring up this issue. It’s uncomfortable. It makes all uneasy but it’s an issue that has to be made clear. This incident is also why we screen surrogate mothers as extensively as we do.

This story also confirmed my belief that surrogacy legislation should be consistent from state-to-state.
Both families couldn’t possibly have imagined the turn of events that occurred. From what we understand, the intended parents are in contact with the adoptive parents and their baby who was born with even more complications than first stated by doctors.

Surrogate mothers and intended parents, please use surrogacy agencies that require you answer the difficult questions like what happens if something is wrong the fetus. Know how you all will handle a situation like the story above.

At Shared Conception, we make sure the hard questions are asked, answered and understood by both surrogate mothers and intended parents.

Here in America, surrogacy births typically go off without a hitch. Agencies make sure that intended mothers and surrogate mothers are well matched. Other countries are finding themselves needing to improve legislation to keep up with the changes in fertility medicine.

I wanted to share a few of the great surrogacy stories and stories that have us saying a prayer for the intended families.

Hooray!
A woman who is the genetic mother of twins was declared the birth mother on her children’s birth certificate. Ireland courts said that the woman who gave birth to the twins had to be listed as their birth mother. The genetic mother won her case and High Court Justice Henry Abbott said that Ireland’s laws needed to “reflect the growing use of artificial insemination, embryo implantation and other fertility techniques.” (news.com.au)

Another Hooray!
An Indian mother was recently given the same rights as an adoptive mother after her surrogate mother gave birth. Her maternity was initially approved but later denied. “Justice Chandru said the purpose of the rule was to allow for bonding between the child and parents. Even in the case of an adoption, the adoptive mother does not give birth to the child, yet the necessity of bonding between the mother and child had been recognised by the Centre. Therefore, the petitioner was entitled for leave in terms of Rule 3-A.” (The Hindu) Good sense prevailed!

By The Skin of Their Teeth
India recently changed their surrogacy laws to exclude same sex couples. Caught up in the middle of that recent change was David and Derek and their new daughter Harvey Rose. New Indian law said couples from Australia had to be in the country on a medical visa. David and Derek were there on a tourist visa. They were able to get Harvey Rose’s citizenship without a problem but getting her home would have been a problem with the wrong visa. Fortunately their story ends well and the family is settling into their new life. (ABC)

Most little girls dream of one day becoming a mother.

They play dolly with their playmates and pretend to be mommies, but imagine knowing at a very young age that you would never be able to have children.

That’s the story of Katy Slade who was born with a genetic disorder that left her without reproductive organs. Her sister Lucy however, made a promise in their childhood that she would share her eggs with her sister.
Well after six years of marriage to husband David Slade, Lucy made good on her promise. But what makes this a great story is that David’s sister Jamie, offered to be the surrogate mother.

This truly became a family affair!

One sister donated the eggs and another sister carried the baby and Katy and David have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

Stories like this encourage all of us here at Shared Conception.

We love it when a surrogacy has a happy ending!

Congratulations Katy and David and standing ovation to their sisters for their wonderful acts of kindness!

Why it’s important for intended families to do their due diligence

A Modesto, California woman is in jail this morning for taking millions of dollars from intended parents. She entered a guilty plea for embezzlement and wire fraud. Intended parents as far away as Germany lost money and still have no family to show for all their time and money put into the process. The money Tonya Ann Collins was supposed to use for surrogate health care and egg donors was squandered on cars, homes, jewelry and vacations.

This makes my blood curl.

And that is why I want moms considering becoming a surrogate and intended families to thoroughly research Shared Conception or any other surrogacy agency.

Do your due diligence.

The Internet is a great place to start your search but don’t let it stop there.

Call clients of the agency you’re considering and talk to the families.

Check with the Better Business Bureau to see if any complaints exist.

Ask your doctor for referrals and most important trust your instincts. If something just doesn’t feel quite right, don’t ignore it.

I want you to ask questions, talk to as many people as you can because it breaks my heart that intended families and surrogate mothers were taken advantage of in this way.

Collins could spend up to 20 years in jail for her crimes.

For the families she’s hurt, I wonder if they’ll feel that’s long enough.

It’s cases like this that reinforce my belief that the surrogacy industry will soon be regulated and rightfully so.
In the meantime, do due diligence and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I hate the phrase “rent-a-womb.”

Surrogacy is growing as a viable method for couples to grow their families and I know these families.
I know their stories.

I know the women who agree to carry children on behalf of these couples and that’s why the phrase “rent-a-womb” is so irksome.

I also keep up with surrogacy news and the latest stats.

I know babies born by gestational surrogates grew by 89 percent between 2004 and 2008. I know surrogacy is growing in India and am also concerned about the women who choose to become surrogates and their fair treatment. I’m also familiar with the “anecdotal evidence” that suggests wives of our military serviceman are “disproportionately hired as surrogates” due to difficult financial situations. I’m familiar with the traditional surrogate court cases and the negative attention it brings this industry.

I know.

I’m familiar with it all.

I know that as surrogacy continues to grow, increased legislation to protect all in involved is on the horizon. I think international laws may even be created to protect women in developing countries and I’m all for it. Truly I am.

My commitment to moms who choose to be surrogates and intended parents is reflected in how Shared Conception conducts business.

“Rent-a-womb” demeans what we do. It paints our intended parents in a bad light. Some intended parents have spent thousands of dollars trying to conceive on their own with no success. You can’t imagine how it feels to want a child, try for years to conceive and fail every time. In vitro treatements are costly and can be painful and the emotional rollercoaster tests the strongest of relationships. So when a couple finally chooses surrogacy, that rent-a-womb phrase doesn’t sit well.

I have no doubt that this industry will continue to see rapid growth and become regulated to some degree. But news analysts and experts need to abandon the rent-a-womb terminology. They need to meet the women who serve as surrogates through our agency and the families whose lives they bless. Then maybe they’ll call this loving process by its correct name and realize no catch phrase is needed.

Source: Council for Responsible Genetics: Surrogacy in America

Well not on national TV.

Adrienne Maloof has ended her friendship with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills costar, Brandi Glanville for blurting out on camera that her twins were born by surrogate.

This was common knowledge for people that knew her but her children didn’t know and Maloof is angry. Maloof’s boys are six years old and we began to wonder, when is a good time to tell your children and how do you tell them?

Surrogacy is growing as a popular choice for infertile couples to grow their families and the discussion of surrogacy will eventually have to be discussed with the surrogate mother’s own children as well as the children born via surrogacy.

According to Judith Kottick, a licensed social worker, you want to tell your children their birth story early so it’s not a shock as in the case of Maloof. There are even children’s books written especially to help the story of surrogacy births like, “Hope & Will Have a Baby: The Gift of Surrogacy,” by Irene Celcer.

Another mom who used a surrogate mother told her child from day one. Jan Zoretich said she told her children stories at night and just included it in story time.

By far the sweetest explanation we heard came from Melissa Bressman who told her three-year old; “The doctor took a piece of Daddy and took a piece of Mommy and put it inside someone else because my tummy was broken” (Rimer, 2009).

We certainly sympathize with Maloof for the way her twin boys learned their birth story. We encourage parents to take the advice of Kottick and tell the birth story sooner rather than later.

We know that surrogacy is a viable option for couples having difficulty conceiving on their own. And it seems that a lone councilman from the District of Columbia thinks so too. Councilman David Catania has submitted a bill that would end the city’s surrogacy contract prohibition. As the law stands right now, offenders of the law face the possibility of a $10,000 fine and a year in jail! Catania’s legislation allows for gestational and traditional surrogate contracts and he’s confident that he can get the right bill passed.

We’re hoping for the best for Councilman Catania and the residents of the District of Columbia.

The residents of New Jersey weren’t so fortunate. Governor Chris Christie vetoed legislation that would have relaxed restrictions in his state. As it stands, New Jersey remains on our list of surrogate unfriendly states.

India just passed legislation tightening their surrogacy rules. Gay couples, and couples who live in countries where there is no ban on surrogacy are prohibited from hiring Indian surrogate mothers.

So for the one step forward surrogacy made last week, the age-old practice took two steps back.

It is our hope that intended parents all over the world have the ability to choose surrogacy as their method to grow and expand their families. We’re proud that Texas remains one of the surrogate friendly states and gives infertile couples the opportunity to choose. Surrogacy has worked for so many families and Shared Conception is happy to keep making dreams come true.

 

© Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com

Unofficial sources say that Khloe Kardashian will use a gestational surrogate to grow her family. She and husband Lamar Odom have wanted children since the pair married but have battled with infertility.

Khloe and Lamar wouldn’t be the first celebrity couple to use a surrogate mother to grow their families.

Kara DioGuardi, a former American Idol judge also announced this week that she and her hubby Mike McCuddy would welcome their first child, Greyson James Carroll McCuddy into the world via surrogate.

Elton John and his partner David Furnish have just welcomed a second child into their home. Both were born via surrogacy.

Then of course there’s Giuliana and Bill Rancic’s very public battle with infertility. The couple made the decision to use a gestational surrogate and the two are now the proud parents of a baby boy.

Khole and Lamar have excellent examples of how surrogacy can work and give them the precious gift they’ve always wanted. Surrogacy is a wonderful option for intended parents no matter your celebrity status. A good agency can help connect intended parents and surrogate mothers to make parenthood dreams come true.

We wish Khloe and Lamar the best!

Finding and choosing a surrogate mother suitable for in vitro fertilization (IVF) may be closer than you realize. Finding a donor who can successfully complete the IVF process can be long and trying. But for a few women, their surrogates were closer than the neighbor next door, their own mothers acted as their surrogate.

The story of Kristine Casey, Sara Connell, and son, Finnean is just one of many heart-warming mother-daughter surrogate successes. Daughter Sara had experienced numerous miscarriages and disappointments trying to conceive. Her mother Kristine at 61 years old was more than her daughter’s surrogate mother; she became the vessel of life so that her daughter could share in the joys of motherhood. The experience offers mothers and daughters the opportunity to bond in an extraordinary way, a way that allows families to grow and flourish beautifully.

Cindy Reutzel, at the age of 53 became a surrogate for her daughter Emily. Emily had cervical cancer that resulted in a radical hysterectomy. The two didn’t think surrogacy was a realistic option but thanks to advancing technology in the field of in vitro transplantation, older women can carry a child to full term.
Finding a surrogate mother may be closer than you realize!

The surrogacy process for young grandmothers like Kristine includes a series of hormonal and fertilization injections, as well as psychological tests to ensure the overall health of the baby. Although age is a major determining factor, even women who have entered menopause can also conceive healthy babies.

The surrogacy pregnancy process is one to be proud of, especially when the woman carrying your child is your very own mother.