She’s pregnant! I’m excited, but I thought I’d be able to relax more than I have by now. 

Achieving pregnancy isn’t a finish line so much as it just one hurdle (though a HUGE one) on the way. Each new milestone in the pregnancy will bring with it a modicum of relief (Shared Conception will celebrate with you!), but it is perfectly normal not to feel completely at ease until your little one is finally in your arms. Celebrate each step forward, and share your joys—and your fears—with your surrogate.

How might communication with my surrogate change during the pregnancy?

The matching and cycling phases likely involved a frenzy of almost-daily communication. Once pregnancy is achieved, communication with your surrogate might shift to become more frequent or sometimes less frequent, especially if your surrogate is having a difficult time with first-trimester exhaustion and morning sickness. If your communication needs fall out of sync with your surrogate’s, don’t hesitate to have a conversation with her to get the reassurance you need as an expectant mom.

How  can I find balance between valid concerns about my surrogate’s habits and being overly worried?

Keep in mind that there is a range of what is considered “safe” during pregnancy. Within the realm of what is considered safe by medical standards, your surrogate’s decisions during pregnancy might be different from the ones you would choose if you were pregnant. Find compromise and acceptance with habits that are within safe parameters, and don’t violate any terms of your mutually agreed-upon contract. Have faith in the trust that you’ve given to her ability to carry a safe and healthy pregnancy. If you’re still uncomfortable, definitely discuss it with your surrogate. If necessary, agree together to have her obstetrician weigh in on the issue.

What special considerations should I make for delivery?

The birth of every baby is a “special delivery,” but the deliveries of babies born via surrogacy definitely take some extra advance planning. Both you and your surrogate should make a list of your delivery desires, making sure to consider the following:

• Who will be in the delivery room, and what will their roles be?

• Will the baby be placed on the surrogate or handed to you (or your partner) first?

• In the event of a C-section, who will accompany the surrogate to the OR?

• If you don’t make it to the hospital in time for the delivery, should the baby stay with the surrogate or be sent to the nursery until you arrive?

• Will the surrogate have a wristband to have access to the baby?A few weeks before delivery, you and your surrogate should review your birth plan with the obstetrician. Our surrogacy agency,  Shared Conception, will be right there beside you all, every step of the way.

My baby is here! I’m not physically recovering from pregnancy and delivery, so why am I so tired?

Well, you’re a new mom! Your pregnancy and delivery may not have been “typical,” but your newborn phase of parenthood surely will be. As a new mom, you’re entitled to the same elation, exhaustion, joy, nervousness, and excitement that many new moms typically feel. You may even experience this whirl-wind of emotions to a more intense degree, especially given the long road you have endured to become a parent. Don’t underestimate how this flurry of emotions—even the positive ones—can affect your physical well-being. Revel in your new motherhood. Every aspect of it, even that delicious, powder- scented exhaustion, is well deserved.

As you’re taking care of your new bundle, don’t forget to take extra-special care of yourself, as well. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is happy to competently help you to enhance your family and get to that euphoric state of exhaustion, give us a call.

So choosing a woman to be your surrogate is the central part of your surrogacy experience. A surrogacy agency, such as Shared Conception, understands the importance of the intended parents choosing just the right surrogate.  We know how to efficiently present you with a dossier of potential women. We know which surrogate profiles match up or compliment YOU. Here’s a rendition of an intended parent’s perusal of prospective surrogate mothers.

“Shortly after our meeting, our surrogacy agency started sending us profiles of potential surrogates. It felt strangely like getting a letter from a roommate who would be sharing your dorm room freshman year. They described themselves, their lives, their ambitions. Their household incomes were not, on the profiles I saw, more than $50,000. Most asked for between $20,000- $25,000 to carry a baby, more for twins, and each made different stipulations: This one would not abort if the fetus was found to have Down syndrome, another one would.

The information in the packets provided by potential surrogates offered a rich picture of the country. There were married women and single women, women in their 20s and women in their 40s; women who would be willing to bear a child for a gay couple and women who would not; women from the Bible Belt, the Rust Belt, the Pacific Northwest and the industrial Northeast. Reports from social workers provided intimate details of their personal lives. We considered connecting with one woman who lived in the South but changed our minds when we tried to figure out how our child would explain why he was born in a state that his parents had never visited before his conception. And I worried about traveling so far for the surrogate’s doctor’s appointments at least once a month.

The personal stories of the potential surrogates were deeply moving. One woman had given up her newborn for adoption rather than have an abortion; the experience led her to explore surrogacy. Most of the prospective surrogates were married and had children. Most had high-school educations, some had gone to college and some were college graduates.”

The tapestry of surrogates ready to help you build your family is rich and diverse. We know how to connect with these women and we want to help you connect with these surrogates. Call us and we will start the journey.

                                                     

                                                 

Yes, you the surrogate mother, can choose the intended parents. A surrogacy agency, such as Shared Conception,  will have the intended parents  review a profile and questionnaire about you, the potential surrogate mother.  As they are forming an opinion about you,  you will also receive a brief profile about the  intended parents for your own evaluation.

Depending upon the agency with whom you are working with, you will have the opportunity to communicate with the selected intended parents  with the intent of building an initial rapport within this new relationship. It may even be possible to have a face-to-face meeting with them, if all parties are in agreement. You will then decide whether you wish to work with the prospective intended parents.

If you feel that the selected relationship is not the best  fit for you, the agency will continue to work at matching you with other intended parents that are better suited to your expectations. Agencies actively try to “sync” the intended parents  and surrogates who have  similar beliefs, philosophies and interests, but this may not always happen on the first selection.  That’s okay, competent surrogacy agencies such as Shared Conception, will eventually find the right match for you. Call us, we are ready to work with you.

 

Surrogacy can be  complicated, costly and is a huge decision for any couple, straight or gay. Essentially, a surrogate mother is a woman who carries a child for someone else. There are many ways that different types of families can find their way to surrogacy, although for straight couples and lesbians, surrogacy is typically considered if a woman cannot carry a child herself or after a woman has experienced many miscarriages or unsuccessful IVF attempts.
For gay men, surrogacy is a way to conceive a child that is biologically connected to one or both partners through the process of insemination or In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). While less common, a lesbian couple may also use a surrogate mother if one or both partners are unable to produce an egg to be fertilized or unable to carry a child to term.
Surrogacy is a good option for many gay men because at least one partner will be biologically connected to the child conceived. If you live in a state that prohibits LGBT adoption, using a surrogate will ensure you will be recognized as the child’s biological parent, and means you will not have to obtain an adoption to gain parental rights (although your partner will).
Finally, each state has their own laws concerning surrogacy, and some states actually  do not allow surrogacy or recognize surrogacy contracts at all. An experienced surrogacy agency, such as Shared Conception, can help you navigate the entire  surrogacy process.  Give us a call.

POINTS TO PONDER:

1)DO EITHER OF YOU WANT TO HAVE A BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN?

2)WILL YOU USE AN ANONYMOUS EGG DONOR OR A KNOWN EGG DONOR? 

                       

 

A surrogate mother has just delivered her surrogate baby, what is she going to do next? Is she  going to Disneyland? Is she touring Napa Valley?  Chances are this woman will simply jump back into the routine of her life with her own spouse and her own kids while possibly experiencing post- partum mood swings. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, loves reading all the emails and letters about successful surrogate birth stories, however, some of these writings  share a common yet realistic  theme: it is not all happy all the time–these women  are uplifting and inspirational  most of the time, but some of these surrogates can get depressed immediately after giving  birth.

These emotions may even  be compared with being involved in a play, where a person rehearses for weeks and even months.  The person immerses herself  in her chosen role and as the time for opening night comes closer and closer, the person’s life tends to become more and more focused on this great event. Then, after this wonderful shining moment passes and everything goes off perfectly….then what?  And? It’s over.  Just like that, the preparation, execution and high points are achieved and after a high, there has to be a low, or a let-down.  It’s nearly the same with any surrogacy arrangement: a surrogate  dedicates approximately  a year to helping the intended mother experience something she can never personally fully experience. However after that moment,  what happens?

The surrogate mothers, who candidly describe their emotions, usually talk about feeling completely elated one moment and devastated shortly afterwards, because their participant in this amazing experience  is finished. And in most cases it is not the baby they miss – it is either
-the surrogacy itself, or .
-the intended parents, or
-the “specialness” of being pregnant, or
-the hormones of being on a high.

These emotions and reactions are usually considered to be completely normal, its just not openly discussed. Any potential surrogate should be aware that she isn’t the the only surrogate mother who has ever cried when the baby left the hospital with his or her new parents, or when she says goodbye to her intended parents.

For the intended parents, who have been trying  to have a child of their own for years, and who finally had to turn to surrogacy, or even just the intended parents, who came to surrogacy from the very beginning of their journey as a way to conceive – the end of the surrogacy is not considered to be an end at all. It is merely the beginning of their dreams.  As you enjoy and adjust to your new baby, remember your surrogate with a grateful heart and a gentle smile. If you can, stay in touch with your surrogate, she will ENJOY seeing sporadic or consistent pictures or maybe visiting –however you are comfortable with sharing your baby. Shared Conception is compassionately here to help both the intended parents and the surrogate work through their emotions. 

            

 

The surrogacy agency selection process can indeed be difficult. So how do you choose? Shouldn’t price influence your decision? These are probably some of the questions you might be asking.

Choosing the best agency is the first step towards finding the potential women who will carry your child and ultimately give you the family you are longing for.

How do I Find the Right Agency for Me?
Some agencies will simply provide the match and guide you to other important professionals who will be crucial in your journey while others, such as Shared Conception, will remain involved during every aspect of the process. Be sure to research the differences. No matter what your specific needs are, find out which agency professional will be responsible for you and for your surrogate mother. You should feel comfortable and confident knowing the person managing your surrogacy is accessible and can competently answer all your questions. Your agency should also be willing to provide you with a free consultation, even if by phone, and be willing to discuss the details of their program and surrogacy process. Above all, you should feel comfortable and confident in your relationship with your surrogacy agency.

Do you work with all types of people?
Yes, Shared Conception works with both couples and individuals from all walks of life regardless of age, marital status, sexual orientation or ethnic background.

Does Shared Conception work with International Clients?
Yes we do! We have worked with parents from around the world and consider this a special niche for us. We can definitely help you navigate through the complexities of an International Surrogacy arrangement both here in Texas and what to anticipate when you go home. We will accommodate the special needs and requests for any parents coming from abroad.

The basic role of an agency, once the match is accomplished, is to guide you through each step rather than let you navigate the process on your own. Sometimes this guidance is directed towards challenges that may arise during the pregnancy,and without agency support, may become too difficult for one person to take on alone.

Although we realize this is a business, it’s unlike any other. You will no doubt endure physical and emotional stressors that are not necessarily understood by your family and friends. We feel it’s so important to have someone you can lean on, lend an ear to during stressful times and above all, have full trust to get you through these memorable times. Shared Conception is that surrogacy agency that can and will be here for you. We will await your call. 

                        

In the world of surrogacy, knowledge is indeed power.

This week, let’s talk about the importance of transparent, honest and mature conversations when addressing the rapport and relationship between the surrogate, the intended parents and the surrogacy agency. It is important that all parties involved understand and are comfortable with the idea, nuances and processes involving surrogacy and the wonderful end results of a  surrogate birth–a newborn child (or multiple babies!) and an entire family unit being created or enhanced.

Surrogacy is a wonderful way for those who cannot carry a child to have a child of their own. The parents and the surrogate are all adults. They each understand their roles and go into their relationship with their eyes wide open.

What most new intended parents and surrogates don’t know is “how much  they don’t know.” The key to a successful surrogacy is education and research. Most  surrogacy arrangements, conducted through competent yet compassionate agencies, result in happy endings. With expert guidance and knowledge, an agency can make a surrogacy arrangement work between “strangers” who are like-minded in their goals.

Intended parents: Do your research, ask the right questions, get referrals, hire a consultant if you feel overwhelmed, and listen to your instincts.

Surrogates: Make sure you know everything that is expected of you,  have any money that is stated in the contract for your care put into a trusted escrow account, and insist that all parties involved are psychologically evaluated.

Making families is an honor and a privilege for many of us who have been touched by surrogacy. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is available  to help you, the intended parents and you, the surrogate, mold  a viable and successful relationship all aimed at the direct goal of building amazing families.  We are ready!

 

 

 

Families are the foundation of our society and culture. Many of our endeavors and motivations are fueled by our need to support, enjoy and provide for our families. Competent surrogacy agencies, such as Shared Conception, diligently work hard to ensure that both the surrogate mothers and the intended parents are mutually satisfied and happy. Here are five reasons you should be grateful for your surrogate.

1)   Surrogacy allows same sex couples to fulfill their personal dreams of creating their own  family.  In most of the cases, if not for the kindness and generosity of surrogate mothers, coupled with efficient surrogacy agencies, these amazing families would not exist.

2)   Even though you, yourself,  are unable to go through the pregnancy process, your surrogate allows you to have your own children. Through the gift of surrogacy, your baby can have a genetic link to one or both parents.

3)  Your surrogate helps to overcome the constraints of age thus  allowing you to have healthy children later in life. Pretty amazing!

                                                        

 4)  Regardless of any  health or infertility issues, the woman you all chose as your surrogate, allows you to have babies.  You can’t help but appreciate your surrogate!

5)  Through your surrogate, you get to somewhat experience the joy of childbirth and  then you get to  leave the hospital with your baby. Surrogacy, the gift that keeps on giving!

Shared Conception fully and enthusiastically  supports our intended parents and are super grateful for our surrogate mothers. We look forward to creating more families and memories!

A woman reports that while visiting some friends who had recently given birth to their new daughter in a Manhattan hospital, she couldn’t resist perusing the institutional paperwork addressed to “Dear Mother, Parent, Person Carrying the Child.” Such a salutation represents a new trend where both the meaning and definition of motherhood is being shaped by the rise of reproductive technologies such as surrogacy.

While there is no mandated tracking of how many children are born through surrogacy each year, the Society for Reproductive Medicine estimates that 1,989 children were born through gestational surrogacy in 2012. Most news stories that cover the practice often focus on the gift of life provided by the surrogate to a couple, with the narrative always being one of praise for the surrogate’s altruism and the joy brought to the intended parents….as they should. Surrogacy is definitely a gift of life, surrogate mothers are selfless women who are able to enhance intended parents’ lives and surrogacy agencies, such as Shared Conception, are committed to matching compassionate and competent surrogate mothers with serious intended parents.

The idea of surrogacy is no longer a “novel” idea but an idea that is making footsteps and impact into mainstream society. People, who initially disliked the idea of surrogacy, now embrace it or at least are more tolerant of the notion. There are more candidates vying for surrogate mother roles and even more intended parents trying to build and enhance their families. As we move into 2015, our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, anticipates guiding and working with surrogates and intended parents to build legacies, one family at a time. Onwards and upwards!

                    

 

As we move into the thick of the holiday season, our staff at Shared Conception wishes you and yours all things good and delightful! In the spirit of the holidays, we are sharing this story of  intended parents who strive to thank their surrogate mother.

Written by Carolyn Savage

“How do I thank the woman who gave life to our daughters?

I’ve given this question a lot of thought since last December, when we learned that Jennifer, our gestational carrier, was pregnant.  It has stumped me because merely thanking her seemed inadequate.  I feel so much more than gratitude for what she’s done for our family—and for me.

When I became pregnant with Logan Morell, the genetic child of another couple, after a mistake at my fertility clinic, my life took a challenging turn. My husband and I decided to protect the unborn child I was carrying and immediately reunite him with his genetic parents upon delivery.  Those decisions were easy. What proved to be difficult, however, was living with the consequences of our decisions.  Since there was no one to call for advice, we found ourselves stumbling through when we really could have used some good “been there, done that” wisdom.  Although we are very proud of what we did for Logan, and would do it all over again if faced with the same set of circumstances, there was an emotional toll that I don’t think I fully understood — until Jennifer delivered our girls to us.

When Jennifer’s pregnancy first began, we didn’t get our hopes up that it would result in a live birth.  The old adage, “don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” takes on a literal meaning for those who have experienced pregnancy loss.  When the weeks passed and the proverbial “other shoe” didn’t drop, it was as if a weight that I didn’t even know I was carrying was lifted.  I realize now that the burden I was carrying was grief.  The loss of the child I brought into this world, but didn’t get to raise, turned out to be a complicated circumstance to live with. (Thankfully, we do have occasional contact with Logan now.) The promise of our twins helped me focus on the blessings I already had. The grace in what Jennifer was doing for us helped me understand what we had done for Logan and his family. How do I thank her for that?

I can’t, not fully. So, instead of just thanking Jennifer, we will honor her. We will honor her by making sure that Reagan and Isabella learn from Jennifer’s kind heart and compassionate soul. Our daughters will always know that Jennifer ushered them into this world. That she nurtured and loved them first. As Reagan and Isabella grow, we hope that they can spend time with and learn from Jennifer.  After all, the more loving adults in a child’s life, the better, and Jennifer’s love for our girls is obvious. Most importantly, Sean and I will honor Jennifer by striving to be the best parents we can be.

Honoring Jennifer seems much more fitting than just thanking her.  After all, not only did she deliver our children to us, but she also helped me find my way back to my spirit, and that deserves much more than gratitude.”

                       

                                                   Carolyn Savage, their surrogate and  Sean Savage

From our Shared Conception family to yours, happy, happy new year!